It's Not Like She Hadn't Thought About It Before
by AnnieSometimes
Summary: It wasn't like she was completely unreasonable. She'd thought about dating Potter. But James just didn't seriously like her. Why was she the only one who saw that?
1. Fat Old Hag

"Date me"

"No"

"Please?"

"I said no, Potter"

"I'll treat you real nice"

"Are you deaf? Do I have to sign it for you?"

"You're just being stubborn"

"Want to hear me say it in Spanish? NO"

"Bad luck, Prongs"

"Evans - "

"Let Sirius talk some NO into you!" exclaimed Lily, frustrated. How many times had Potter asked her out? How many times did she say no? How many times did she HAVE to before it got through his thick skull?

James got up from Lily's armrest that he'd been lounging on while Lily worked. She had stood up, angry, gathered her books and left to the girl's dormitories. She looked out of the corner of her eye before she shut the door, and saw that Potter's stupid friends were looking up at him, while he sat dejected.

She slammed the door shut. Damn that James Potter. How dare he look sad, like he actually gave a shit. She sighed, and turned around. She gasped; she wasn't alone.

"Alice! Jesus, you scared me!"

"Sorry, but you did just kind of rush in. What did James do this time?" Alice asked, popping her gum.

"Oh, Potter? Just ask me out. Be bigheaded. The usual. And don't call him 'James'"

"It _is_ his name, you know" Alice replied with a small smile on her face.

"I'm perfectly aware of what his bloody name is, but I really could care less" retorted Lily as she crossed the room to sit on Alice's bed.

"Ah, Lily, when are you going to realize that that's not true?" her friend wheedled. Lily turned her head around to look Alice in the eye but instead was faced with a popping bubble.

"God, you and your Droobles, Alice..."

"Sorry, babe, but you needed to shut your mouth for just a second. We've gone over this and over this. You like James. James likes you. Go for it"

"James does not LIKE me, he WANTS me. There's a big difference. And I don't..I don't like James. I mean, there was that space of time in second year, but Sev really opened my eyes to the likes of boys like James Potter"

"Don't get me started on _Sev_" Alice said in a mocking voice, "Because _Sev_ turned out to be such a _great_ pick"

"I know. Sev and the people he hangs around are scummy, but he was right about a lot"

"Like Remus? Please. Anybody who _paid attention_ could pick up on that from a mile away. Just like with James. He's smitten with you!"

"Nice save" Lily smirked, "but why are you so sure that Potter is 'smitten'?"

"I have my sources"

"You're not talking about what you hear on the grapevine, are you? Potter will tell anything to a crowd"

"Even the truth, maybe. But no, that's not what I'm talking about. One, I just know. Your feelings are Remus' full moon; everybody who listens knows. Two, I actually have a source this time. Just...a secret source. And three, have you even seen the way the boy looks at you? It's so adorable that if I didn't already have a man of my own you might have some serious comptetion" Alice teased.

Lily smiled. She told Alice that she'd think about what she'd said in trade for the secret source, but of course that had been declined. It was probably just some first-year that had heard something Potter had said about her for the first time and mistook it for actual feelings. She had Potter all figured out. He was the spoiled little brat that had everything he'd ever wanted and she was the only thing he couldn't have. Naturally, he wanted her bad. But if she succumbed and actually dated him, he'd get bored, and move on. Besides, he wouldn't have to move far. Almost every girl in school loved James Potter.

Lily lay awake that night. She tossed and turned and couldn't shut her brain up. After counting the number of breaths her other friend and roommate, Mary, took in a minute (twenty-three), she decided that she couldn't handle it anymore. She had to get some air, or some water, or some something. She got up, and her head spun. She sat for a minute with her head resting on her knees, and the got up and went to the common room. Halfway down the stairs, the most peculiar thing happened. The portrait-hole opened, and closed on its own. This was something to investigate, and something to do. Lily walked down to the portrait-hole, pushed it open, and walked through.

The hall was empty, and the Fat Lady already going back into a doze. Lily looked left and right, but nobody was around. She sighed, and turned to go back to the common room. The Fat Lady was asleep. Dead asleep.

"Uh...excuse me? ...Ma'am?"

No response.

"Hey! Wake up! Please, err...Fat Lady?"

Still nothing. Several more tries still earned Lily nothing. Even nearly screaming 'FAT LADIEEEE' didn't help. She felt bad about screaming that at her, but what else were they really supposed to call her?

There was nothing for it. She, a prefect hoping to get the Head Girl position next year, outside after hours for the first time ever. Should she sit here and wait for the Fat Lady to wake up, or maybe go wake up Professor McGonagall to let her back inside? But would she really buy the whole mystery ghost explanation as to why she was out here in the first place?

"Damn" she whispered to herself as she slid down the wall to sit.

"Damn"

Lily started. She could have sworn she just heard somebody swear quietly. She looked around, confused. After deciding that she was probably a crazy person, chasing after AND hearing ghosts now, she settled back into her waiting slouch. Ghosts at least showed themselves, and couldn't open doors. And Peeves never went into the dormitories.

"Damn is a naughty word"

This time Lily very nearly stood up. Somebody definitely just teased her, she thought.

"Who's there?" she said, he voice more confident that she felt; her wand was sitting upstairs in the dormitories where she'd put it before bed. There was no answer to her question.

"Damn is a perfectly fine word to use in this situation" she huffed to herself and to her invisible counterpart.

"What situation?"

She was 100 percent sure she wasn't alone now. Either that or she was having a conversation with herself.

"I'm stuck outside after chasing some stupid nothing, and I'm a prefect and I can't get back in, and now...I'm tired" she sighed. Of course she would tire having been out of bed no more than five minutes.

"Aren't being stuck outside and not being able to get in the same thing?"

"Are you trying to tell me off for being redundant? My, you're a weird ghost"

"Who said I was a ghost?"

"My brain" Lily groaned as she sank her head between her knees again. This time for tiredness more than anything, though.

"Do you want back in the common room?"

"If you weren't so busy correcting my grammar you might have heard me say I'm tired. So yes, I'd quite like to be back in the common room"

The ghost chuckled. There was a rustling sound about three feet to Lily's left. She looked and saw nothing. Weren't ghosts silent? Suddenly, the Fat Lady awoke with a fervor.

"My, MY young - ! Oh. It's you. I suppose you want in, of course" the portrait said sniffily.

"Well, yes, I quite would, thank you" said Lily, relieved and confused at the same time.

"Password"

"Leperchaun Taint"

"Wrong, I changed it"

"Well, I'm a prefect! Wouldn't I be the first to know if you did?" Lily retorted.

"Oh. Yes. Well I guess you would. Fine, fine, it's still Leperchaun Taint. But don't call me fat again or I'll never let you through again, password or not"

"You were awake this whole time?" Lily said angrily.

"Come on, pip pip, off to bed now" the Fat Lady said as she opened quickly.

"Fat old hag" muttered Lily as she climbed over the portrait hole. The door was almost closed when she heard, 'bloody little nutter'. Lily groaned loudly before sitting on the couch, looking into the embers of the fire. So either there's a new ghost in town that can somehow make itself invisible (she'd never really known them to do so) or Hogwarts had a new poltergeist. At least this one was kind of funny.


	2. Eunice Bates Sleeps Fully Clothed

Lily awoke to an alarm going off. It was her wireless, going off exactly when she'd charmed it to. She pointed her wand at it, and it went silent. She was rather good at nonverbal spells now, having started them with Sev in their fourth year. She swallowed; why did she always do that? It still hurt to think about Sev. He'd been her best friend for years, and apparently none of that really mattered in the end. She was a _mudblood_. The word itself wasn't particularly offensive to her because she hadn't grown up with the term, but Alice nearly cursed Sev into oblivion when he'd shouted it at her. She shook herself mentally. She didn't want to think about him this early in the morning. It tended to put a whole damper on her day.

She got up and started dressing for school. She pulled her PJ shirt over her head and heard a wolf-whistle. She laughed and turned to her friend, Mary.

"You like that, Mary?" Lily joked.

"Oh yeah I would if you weren't the one weirdo in Gryffindor who sleeps with a bra on" Mary teased back.

"So I'm not the only one who finds it comfortable in Hogwarts, then? Just Gryffindor?"

"I heard Eunice Bates sleeps fully clothed"

"I don't even want to hear where you get your information" laughed Lily.

She continued dressing, and waited on Mary to finish putting her make-up on. Lily only liked to wear minimal make-up. Too much and she thought she looked rather tart-ish. She glanced over at Alice, wondering if they should wake her. Alice never liked eating breakfast, saying that anything she digested before noon upset her stomach. Lily shrugged off the idea, and walked with Mary to the common-room.

Of course Potter would be there. Lily and her friends were seemingly never thirty feet away from Potter and his obnoxious band. Lily didn't know how Sirius and the group could stand being corralled constantly around Lily's schedule. It must get irritating. Though she was pondering about the groups' habits, she didn't let them know it. She constantly abused the ability girls had to look without really looking. Though ashamed to admit it, she mostly looked at Potter.

Obnoxious and loud and callous though he was, he was amazing to look at. He had eyes of flecked hazel, just-rolled-out-of-bed-and-I-know-it-and-don't-care hair that looked godly when he wasn't being bigheaded and messing it up, muscle-tone that just barely showed through his robes, and he was tall and broad-shouldered. It was so unfair that he had the personality of a toe-rag.

"Morning Evans! Love the hair" Sirius called out to her.

Lily's hand automatically jumped to her hair, which to her horror, she'd forgotten to take a brush to. Her mouth went into a scowl while Mary dug in her bag to retrieve a brush. She quickly combed through it until it felt as sleek and shiny as her hair was normally; not frizzy and mussed up like it was every time it didn't see a brush for an hour.

"I like it either way" said Potter as Lily started walking toward the portrait-hole.

"I bet you like seeing girls' hair messed up, Prongs!" Lily heard Sirius crack before she closed the portrait behind her.

Lily was almost through done eating when her meal was unceremoniously interrupted. The four morons decided to grace her with their presence. She was about to get up and leave the table and just get a heavy lunch, but Mary shot her a look from across the table that told Lily she was more than content to stay put. Lily found this peculiar until she saw Mary's eyes dart over to Sirius' lounging figure two seats down.

She sighed inwardly; she guessed she could endure a few minutes of Potter's endless hormones so that Mary could maybe make a move on the infamous _Padfoot_. Lord knew she'd fancied him for ages, and he might have been as incredibly handsome as Potter if he wasn't literally stuffing his face with everything he could reach. Lily snorted. It wasn't like she meant to, but he was funny…sometimes. Potter, who of course chose the seat right next to her, noticed, and goggled at her.

"Holy Mother, Evans actually laughed. Like. Really laughed" he said, almost in awe.

That touched a nerve. She could laugh! He shouldn't say it like he was amazed she even had the ability! Surely he'd seen her genuinely laugh before. He must have, having followed her around like a sad puppy-dog most of this year and last.

"Hey, I can laugh. I only laugh when things are funny, though" she said sniffily.

"I know, and you have a great laugh, but I've just never heard you laugh at something one of _us_ did"

"I never saw you do anything funny" she retorted.

"Look at Lily the smoking gun" laughed Remus as Sirius and Peter _oooohhhhh'd_ dramatically.

"I'm funny!" said James, half laughing, half defensive.

"Of course you are, Prongsie" said Sirius as he reached over and patted James on the cheek.

"Ah, Padfoot, don't call me 'Prongsie' in front of Evans"

"Can I call you Prongsie?" laughed Lily.

"You can call me anything you want, baby"

"Potter is fine for now. Or '_big-head_'. I like 'big-head'" Lily said after pretend-deliberating for a moment. Potter's friends laughed.

"Don't worry, my sweet little dumpling, she'll call you Prongsie one day" teased Sirius in a girly voice. This cued banter between James and Sirius, not unlike the banter she and Mary had done this morning with the shirt.

"You owe me ten galleons from third year, Lily" laughed Mary as James and Sirius started play-wrestling over the table.

"How so, Evans?" asked James slightly breathlessly, as Sirius had his throat in his hand.

"Oh, nothing, nothing. It's just, we made a bet that you two would turn gay for each other eventually" said Mary casually, but with strained laughter under her calm.

"What?" they both yelped at the same time.

"We don't swing that way - " began James.

"But if we did - " Sirius continued.

"Then he'd be all I ever needed" they said together in sing-song voices.

Lily and Mary were laughing with Peter and Remus. Lily couldn't remember ever having a breakfast like this, where she actually kind of enjoyed this lot's company. At least it made for a funny breakfast. Potter wasn't asking her out, for once. The group ate in silence for a moment or so. Or rather, the girls finished their food while the boys stuffed their tasters with everything they could fit in them. Lily noticed a lot of students looking at them rather strangely.

It was true that she and James never really ate together, or even sat down peaceably near each other, and she could see why that would be a bit odd that they were doing so now, but what was with all the staring, _really_? While looking around, she caught the eye of somebody who she'd never thought she'd make eye-contact with again. Sev.

She felt her expression turn to that of a relaxed sort of smirk to an expressionless mask. He was staring at her with intensity, like he was trying to communicate something to her with his eyes alone. She didn't even try to read it, but turned her head away. Unfortunately, she'd unthinkingly turned it in Potter's direction. He looked up from his plate and at her face, which was no longer expressionless. She could feel the hurt spread across her features. She saw out of the corner of her eye that he looked up and around, and heard his tight inhalation. She felt Potter's body move, and then his arm was around her shoulders, rubbing the top of her arm. She straightened up immediately.

"Potter - " she began angrily.

"Sorry, Evans," he began roughly (he was having trouble swallowing his mouthful of muffin) as he withdrew his arm, "but Snivellus is a creep. He didn't deserve to be your friend, and you didn't deserve anything he said to you"

"That was…nice of you to say, Potter. I…thanks" she finished lamely.

"Only telling you the truth" he said quietly, having cleared his mouth. Just then the bells sounded and it was time for the first class of the day, Double Potions with Slytherin. The student body flooded the halls, crowding every hallway. Lily was technically walking with Potter and his friends, but she didn't really want to think about what people would think about that. Just because they were friendly for one meal didn't make them friends, right? She was trying to maneuver her way through the halls, when she grabbed Mary's hand. This was custom, because Lily was slightly shorter and could wind her way through crowds better, so she always lead the way. She got all the way down to the Potions hall when she let go and glanced behind her.

"Potter!" she yelped, clutching her hand to her chest like he'd burned it.

"What? _You_ grabbed _my_ hand!" he countered.

"You could have let go!" she whined.

"Why would I? I _like_ you" he said pointedly. Lily grumbled, and turned away from Potter right as she saw Mary and Potter's friends emerging from the fray into the more-deserted hall.

"Thumbs up, my man" Sirius said as he held up his hand for a high-five. Potter shook his head at him and shot him a look. Lily turned around to get in line for class and wait for Alice. For the second time today, she locked eyes with her out-of-earshot former best friend. But this time, she understood the look he was giving her. The look on his face was pure agony. Unadorned and plain.

"Why is Snivelly looking at us like that?" Mary piped up. Lily's friends had passionately taken on Sev's more common nickname after he'd bashed her publicly fifth year.

"What's up Snivellus?" shouted Potter.

"Potter!" she hissed, but he paid her no mind.

Sev pulled out his wand because years of torment from Potter and his friends had taught him well. Uncharacteristically, though, Potter made no such move, though Sirius did, stepping in front of Mary as his did so. The crowd got quiet as they watched the scene unfold.

"Anything you want to say to my new pal, Lily?" Potter taunted. A look passed over Sev's features where it looked like he really did want to say something, but Lily saw the look Muliciber and Avery gave him.

"I have nothing to say to it. It doesn't concern me" he said in a defeated voice.

"Good, because if you ever hurt her again I'm going to have to hex you into next Thursday" Potter said menacingly.

"Oh, _now_ I'm scared. Now that I've offended Potter's favorite slut by _looking at her_, I'm sure to be in trouble!" Sev said mockingly.

Potter drew his wand with a flourish, and Snape tensed, prepared for the sure-to-come onslaught. Sirius backed down, but clearly kept his eye on Muliciber and Avery. Lily's thoughts were scattered. Mary was looking like she could throttle Sev and enjoy it. Sirius looked entertained but angry at the same time. The crowd was tittering and _oooh_ing softly, the air thick with excitement over the coming duel. Lily looked at Potter's face, finally. He looked…frightening. She shivered slightly at his demeanor; she'd never seen him look so angry, even when Sev had called her a mudblood last year. He was shocked, then. But he was purely angry now, his glasses flashing white in the light of the torches.

"You don't ever, _ever_, call her that again" he said softly, menacingly. He began to raise his wand as Sev raised his.

"James" she whispered. She reached out and grabbed his arm just above his elbow, tugging him toward her, stepping between him and Sev as she did so. Shock was what probably caused him to falter. His mouth popped open and he looked down at her, now that they were less than a foot apart. But Lily turned to face Sev before he could take advantage of Potter's distraction.

"Listen, _Snivelly_, I don't ever want to see you look at me again. I don't even want to hear your voice ever again. I don't even want to _be in the same classroom_ with you, but unfortunately that's required. Now shove it, _you __pathetic toe-rag_" she snarled as she swiped her wand once. A cut appeared just between his shoulder and his collar-bone. It wasn't deep, as it was a spell used to chop vegetables, but it was still humiliating and worked well enough, she thought.

"And thanks for teaching me nonverbals" she snorted, "they work like a charm".

The shock on his face was quite worth it. She knew she shouldn't relish in his anguish, but if he was going to keep taunting her why not throw some back?

"Come on, James, let's go to class" she commanded loudly, wanting to be out of the central focus, to not be the one everybody was gawking at. Was Potter's whole life like this? Is that why he seemed so used to being in the middle of everything?

And with that she grabbed him by the arm and practically dragged him to class. His mouth was still open, as were Mary's and Potter's friends. Lily suppressed a laugh; like she couldn't dole out the pain. She sat down in her usual spot in the front, expecting Mary to take the seat next to her. Mary was her usual Potions partner, and Frank was Alice's. So she was kind of surprised, but then again not really, when Sirius caught a look from Potter and literally tugged her away to his normal back-of-the-classroom station and Potter took Mary's spot instead.

Slowly the rest of the students filed in, most either whispering about what just happened or laughing about it. Potter was still quiet, and still gawking at her. Luckily though, he'd closed his mouth.

"What?" she asked somewhat impatiently.

"You totally just handed it to Snivelly!" he said in an amazed tone.

"Yeah, and? I don't need boys to look after me all the time, you know. I'm a big, tough girl. I tie my own shoes and everything" Lily responded in a teasing tone.

"Oh, well, I know that you can, err, well, take care of things, but he had no right – completely out of line – I mean, like I _wouldn't_ say anything - "

Lily snorted.

"I get it, Potter. You were trying to be gallant"

"Whoa, wait. _Potter_? I thought I was promoted to _James_ now"

"Well. Err. You called me by my name! Why wouldn't I call you by yours? But now that that's over, we can switch back to surnames. Temporary switches are…fine from time to time. Depending on the situation" Lily stammered.

"Oh no, _Lily_, I like the terms we're on now"

"What, so one slip-up and it's a done deal?"

"Why is it such a big deal? It's just our names" Potter said in a slightly surly tone.

"_Friends _call each other by first names" she tried to explain.

"Well, friends or not, no take-backsies" Potter said cooly.

There was an awkward moment where Lily really didn't know what to say. The reason she hadn't wanted Potter calling her by her name was because he used to come up with the most obnoxious, though generic, nicknames for her. If she wanted to go around being called 'Lilykins', she'd have stitched _that _name into her robes and bag instead of plain 'Lily'. That, and she was so used to calling him 'Potter'. She'd never bothered to call him by his first name; she'd continually mess up even if they did go back to first names.

The door to the dungeon opened, and a very tired-looking Alice stumbled into the room. She slowed when she saw who Lily's partner was, and threw Lily a 'what in the bloody hell?' kind of look. Lily shrugged, and looked at the desk.

The Professor Slughorn came ambling in shortly after, late as usual. He smiled at Lily, and raised a brow at Potter, but did nothing more. He started with the lesson, which was supposed to teach one how to brew antidotes without having a book nearby based on the ingredients in the poison, given one could recognize them. Lily had already practiced this over the summer, having bought her sixth-year Potions book halfway through fifth year. Potter, on the other hand, was stumped.

Potter understood the working backwards from the ingredients, but his weakness was his recognition. Lily identified the antidote about five minutes in, and tried to help Potter for the rest of the hour and fifty minutes.

"James, we've gone over this four times. That pepperminty smell really isn't peppermint, it's actually just the soapwart reacting with the boomslang skin. Very tricky to smell out, but once you remember that unless you're using it in a Euphoria Inducer, peppermint won't ever smell like peppermint"

She looked up at Potter's face to see if he got it, but he was looking at her with a smile on his face.

"What?"

"You called me James"

Lily exhaled impatiently.

"Was that _all _you got out of that? Dammit Potter you'd better pay attention. I won't always be your partner!"

"Didn't anybody ever tell you that 'damn' is a naughty word, my little flower?"

"I – what?"

"It's bad, Lily-Pad" he smirked.

Lily stared at him for a moment. He just told her the same thing that the apparition last night had said. She felt her intuition roar into being.

"Well if you don't learn this procedure then you'll never learn this procedure" she said slowly, repeating herself on purpose.

"You need to work on your redundancy issues, Lily" Potter said, still smirking at the desk.

"How did you hear that conversation, Potter?" she demanded, feeling embarrassed for really no reason at all.

"Ah, Lils, why would I go and tell you that?"

"Potter, _for the last time_, don't call me by any nicknames!"

"Don't call me Potter, then. For every surname you use, I use a nickname" he said seriously, but with a hint of actual emotion lingering behind.

Lily sat, stumped. Then, a conclusion dawned on her.

"It hurts your feelings when I use your surname, doesn't it?" she asked tauntingly.

"N-no, not exactly. That's not really what I'd - "

"It _hurts your feelings_ when I don't call you James?" she asked, incredulous.

"It doesn't hurt my feelings! I just…I just really like it when you call me James. Makes me feel like I'm…like I'm making progress" he responded quietly and quickly.

They looked at each other for a good few minutes, the air growing thicker and thicker with tension. Lily honestly couldn't tell him whether he was wrong or not. It was when Lily realized that they were sitting with their knees an inch apart that a blush rose to her face, cuing one of Potter's. They both turned forcefully away from each other at the same time.

"Uhm, right. Anyway, the conversation?" she asked the desk, like it might know the answer.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Potter told the ceiling, "but it doesn't matter right now".

In light of the current situation, Lily was prepared to let it go for now. She sighed, and was about to try to question Potter about the assignment, when the bell sounded, signaling a half-hour break until her next class. Both teenagers pushed away from the desk like it had done them a personal wrong. The both tried to head in the same direction, but ended up cutting each other off. Lily looked up at Potter, and Merlin's Pants he was tall!

"See you at lunch"

"Yeah…er, see you…James"

"Later, Lily" he smiled at her.

And with that she watched him nearly run to his friends who were waiting for him in the hall. She watched them ask him about a million questions at once, though she couldn't hear what they were asking, and saw him start to speak. And then they walked away.

She shook her head; was she really watching _Potter_ go? What was the world coming to? She turned to find Mary and Alice, and saw them huddled in the back of the room. Alice looked up from a hunched-over Mary, said something to her, and strode over up to the front of the classroom to speak to Lily.

"Ok, Lily, you're going to have to _spill_ in Charms later about what just happened there, but I think we need to get Mary to the dormitory ASAP"

"Didn't she tell you the grand event that was today?" asked Lily, slightly irritated.

"Well no, as she started crying the minute Sirius left class"

"Oh, no…not today"

"Oh yes, today. She apparently asked him out to Hogsmeade, and he said no"

Lily had had enough for one day, and it wasn't even 10:30. First Potter not being a complete waste of time, then Snape randomly returning in a hurtful way to her life, and now no Mary and Sirius? It's not like Mary hadn't been hoping for that for months.

She groaned, and told Alice to mop up Mary and skip Charms if she needed. When Alice asked where she was going, she replied:

"I'm going to have a nice conversation with that stupid Padfoot"


	3. You Know What I Look Like Naked

A/N: Hey guys! Thought I'd stop in for a quick word. Thank you so much to all who reviewed. I really appreciate every single one. Anyway, hopefully you'll continue telling me how I'm doing, and enjoy!

Lily stalked out of the room, not really knowing where she was going. She and Potter's friends had Charms in thirty minutes, but where would those four go in between-time? And what was she going to say to Sirius? "How dare you not like my best friend"? How third year was that? "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" would be a little more insulting, but how could she be angry with somebody simply because they didn't like another person? This had nothing to do with her…

But she should still tell _dear Padfoot_ to at least talk to Mary about it.

Lily walked up to the main hall, and was completely surrounded by passerby. Her best bet would be the common-room, maybe? Or the courtyard? She shook her head, and tried to make her way towards the grand staircase. She finally emerged from the crowd of passing students when a hand laid itself on her shoulder from behind. She turned, expecting Alice, and for the smallest space of time she thought Potter had found her again, but was of course surprised. It wasn't Alice or James.

It was Snape. She threw off his hand roughly.

"What do you want, _Snivellus_?"

He made no reply, but grabbed her arm and tugged her off to a more deserted corridor. She protested at first, but a large part of her really wanted to hear what he had to say. Maybe she just needed closure? Maybe she just wanted to roast him again. She wasn't sure.

He let go of her in front a large painting of fruit in a bowl. He turned to face her, and took a breath in, as if trying to figure out how to word something. Lily stood back into a stiff stance; she knew this behavior from him. He had something on his mind, though what it had to do with her, she really couldn't fathom.

"Are you really going out with Potter?" he blurted out suddenly. Lily started, confused.

"Well, why would it concern you if I was?"

"I – he won't – we've gone over this!" he sputtered.

"We've gone over a lot of things, Snivelly. Like how we're not friends anymore. My love-life doesn't concern you. In fact, it never _did_" she said sardonically. He looked quite abashed by this.

"Why do you call me that? That's _their_ name for me" he asked quietly.

"You called me a mudblood. I thought once that that was just _their_ name for me, too" she countered.

"It was - "

"I don't _care_ what it was, Sev! It was what it was. But now what it _is_, is over. So please stop it. I told you last year, and the year before that, that if you kept hanging around with future Death Eaters and falling in with that crowd then we're done! And we_ are_ done. So just leave it, okay?"

And with that she turned heel and left him in the hall. Her brain felt frazzled. Why on Earth would he be interested in all that anyway? They hadn't spoken in forever. She knew he hated Potter, and expressed on many occasions how she was too good for him, and how he would only use her and leave her, blah blah blah, but she'd thought that it was only out of concern for her that he'd tried to steer her clear of him. Almost like an older brother, despite the fact that they were the same age. Maybe that was the case, still?

But her business was none of his. She still had to find Padfoot.

And she did find him with his friends in the common-room, lounging by the open windows, lobbing Fanged Frisbees out of the window with much enthusiasm.

"You know as a prefect I should have those confiscated" she said lightly, hopping on a window-seat between Potter and Black.

"Ah, Lily, you wouldn't. This is entirely too much fun" laughed Sirius as he aimed and slung a Frisbee at a gaggle of students on their way to Herbology. It hit about twenty feet wide of the mark, but it frightened them as they looked around to see where it had come from. As they started to shrug it off and move on, Potter aimed another, and it hit the path ahead of them, making them start again.

"Good aim Pawww…James" she tried to compliment.

He caught her mess-up, and laughed.

"Pawwww-James is better than plain Potter, I guess. And thanks" he grinned. God his smile was enticing. She shook herself mentally and yet again reminded herself why she was here.

"Ah, you're welcome. But I actually came up here to talk to Sirius" she said, turning to him. The whole group stopped and looked at Lily, then Sirius.

"Ha…why?" he asked.

"We just need to have a one-on-one. Can we go on a walk?"

Sirius looked at James, and Lily noticed he jerked his head in an 'alrighty then' kind of way. Lily stood up, and waited for Sirius to do the same. He stood slowly, and with one final 'do I have to?' look at James, he walked after her as she started away. The second the Fat Lady closed, he was talking.

"You know, James really does like you, you know. I've never seen him so hooked on any other girl, but he's only dated like, seven or eight girls, so he doesn't have a real dating _record_, but I'm pretty sure he's hung up on you, you know. I know he can be stupid about it, which is what I told Alice, but - "

"Wait, wait, wait. _You're_ Alice's 'secret source'?"

"She really didn't tell you it was me? Wow. I thought for sure that she was just bullshitting me. Nice girl"

"She asked you about James?" Lily asked, irritated.

"Oh no, no. I went up to her. I mean, _something_ had to be done about you and James or he was going to implode. He is _crazy_ about you"

"Well what did you tell her exactly?"

"I asked her to try to convince you to look at James differently. He might have been a conceited bully last year, but he's trying to not bully people as much. Haven't you noticed that none of the First Years are addressing him as 'Sir Potter'? That's because he didn't make them this year. For you"

"I should be so impressed" she laughed. She remembered having a shouting match with him fourth year about that. Why did it seem so much funnier now than it was then?

"Okay, not the best example, but you know I'm right. I mean, have you even thought about it?"

"About James? Dating James? Like. Kissing James?"

Crap. She'd said 'James' one too many times.

"Oh, you have" he smirked.

Lily felt like she'd been hit with a ton of bricks. How did she end up discussing Potter with Sirius when she was supposed to be defending Mary? How did that happen?

"I, that's…okay fine! It's not like I hadn't thought about it before. But, I mean…come on!"

"I'm not following you, Lily"

"He doesn't LIKE me! He likes the idea of me! He wants me because he can't have me!"

"Do you know what he talks about, when he raves about you? He talks about your humor, and your intelligence, and how awesome you _as a person_ are. You're lucky you don't have to sit around and pretend to listen to his Lily Monologues all day, because believe me; he can go on _all day!_ 'Oh, Lily said this to me today, oh ha ha Lily wore the funniest t-shirt today, Lily's hair looked awesome today, oh, and Lily breathed today'! You don't hear him like we do, so don't go assuming you know stuff that you don't" Sirius said rather heatedly.

She stood there, stunned.

"You make it sound like he loves me"

"Sometimes, I'm not sure. I don't want to make you freak or anything, because he never said that he did, but seriously. If you stuck around long enough to realize that he has real, serious feelings for you maybe you wouldn't be such a bitch to him all the time"

"A bitch?"

"Don't act all surprised, you know you've said some horrible things to him. I'm not going to lie for his ego anymore; it really doesn't do him any good to hear 'no' all the time"

"So it's my responsibility to say yes so that Potter will be happy? If that was true you'd have a date next Hogsmeade trip. With Mary"

"That's different. As much as you try to deny it, you know _you_ share some of those feelings. Alice and I talked a lot recently, and she reckons that you like him, too. You know you've liked him in that past"

"She told you about that?" she hissed. He nodded casually.

"Does he know?"

"No, he doesn't. But he will eventually" he hinted. She huffed angrily. She and Alice were going to have a nice, long talk.

"Oh don't you go getting mad at your friend," he warned, "she was only trying to help you out. If you let yourself open up, I'm positive you and James could be great. But you have to give it a chance"

There was silence for a minute. Lily was still in a bit of a shock. Sirius, talking to her about James' feelings? And to find out – forcibly - that they were really real? Immediately she felt a stabbing sensation in her chest; these past two years he'd really liked her and she been saying what she'd been saying to him? Sirius was right – she _was_ a bitch.

"So you don't like Mary?"

"So you agree to give dear Prongsie a real chance?"

"…you first"

"I…don't really. She's a nice enough girl, but she's just not my type"

"You've always been so nice to her, though. That's what encouraged her, you know"

"I'm nice to all girls"

"When you're not calling them bitches" Lily smirked.

"Let me rephrase," he joked, "I'm nice to all girls when they're not _being_ bitches"

Lily laughed, but it faltered.

"Do me a solid and just talk to her"

"Why on Earth would I talk to her? She's probably going to attack me with those stupid birds of hers if I even go near her" he said, referring to the conjured birds Mary kept in the Owlrey for pets.

"Who would do that? Besides, Mary likes her birds. I'm sure she won't set them on you"

"Whatever you say"

"Look, she needs it"

"I'll cut you a deal. I talk to Mary, you talk to James"

"What?"

"Deal closing in five, four, three, two - "

"Alright! I'll talk to James!"

"Always knew you kept a brain in there, somewhere, Evans"

"Shut it, Black"

Despite their words, Lily could feel something like a friendship beginning as they smiled small smiles at each other with their arms crossed in their angry stances. But that was the thing with Sirius Black. She'd seen it happen a hundred times before with teachers, bullies, and even girls; people were just putty in his capable, sociable hands. People just couldn't help but_ like_ this doofus.

At that moment, Lily heard people come around the corner. As luck would have it, it was Alice and Mary. Mary was thankfully looking quite normal, but the red, puffy eyes were a dead give-away that she'd been crying. So was the quiver of her lips when she saw Sirius.

"That's how James feels every day, you know" Sirius muttered.

Great. Something to make her feel worse than she already did. She watched as Sirius walked toward Alice and Mary, said something softly, and deftly moved Mary away from Alice and down the hall, leaving Alice and Lily quite alone.

"Have a good talk with Sirius, then?"

"I think so. He opened my eyes to quite a lot, assuming he's telling the truth"

"He is. You know he is" Alice said in a hard voice.

"Thanks for blabbing my business to the enemy, Alice, but next time I want Sirius to know the intimate details, why don't you go ahead and just let me tell him?"

"Lily, it was old news! You liked him four years ago. Four! And then you got over it because Snivellus told you to. End of story. It's not like I told him what you look like naked"

"And you know what I look like naked?"

"Saw you coming out of the shower one time third year, _very _traumatic experience" she joked.

"Very funny, Alice, but you still shouldn't have said anything"

"And you should give James a chance. When you two end up married with kids you can thank me"

The image hit Lily in the face, hard. She and James all grown up with nameless, faceless children running around while they sat on a porch swing somewhere, sipping Pumpkin Juice, happily married.

She physically shook her head. What was wrong with her? Just last night she was _so angry_ at Potter for asking her out and generally acting like an idiot and today she was having visions of being _married_ to him?

"I promised Sirius that I would talk to James"

"Well, that's a start. Your feelings are still there, Lily. Just buried under years of resentment" Alice said with a smile in her tone.

The bell rang.

"Looks like I'll be talking to Potter at lunch, then. Let's go to Charms"


	4. The Potatoes Always Go First

A/N: I had the most trouble getting this chapter started. But once I got it going, it snowballed. I hope you enjoy!

"So…what exactly made you decide to sit next to James in Potions?" Alice asked curiously.

Oh yeah. Lily forgot that she wasn't present that morning.

"Well, that was kind of forced, and totally not my idea. Sirius kidnapped Mary for the class so that James could take the opportunity" she laughed.

"Did you want to punch him like you normally do?"

"Uh…um, no, actually" she said, surprised. The image of punching James' glasses off of his face hadn't crossed her mind once during Potions. Maybe she wanted to slap the back of his head once or twice when he wouldn't understand something about the antidote they were supposed to be solving, but during actual conversation, she had no visions of violence. Wow. A first.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Alice asked slowly, seeing that Lily was thinking but interrupting anyway.

"I guess it wasn't too bad. But he knew some weird stuff about me, and I'm supposed to call him 'James' now or else I get called those horrible nicknames he used to call me"

"Weird stuff? What kind of weird stuff?"

"Oh, nothing really. I just got stuck outside of the common-room last night when I couldn't sleep, and he somehow overheard the conversation I had had with a ghost"

"_You_ were outside of the common-room after-hours last night?" Alice asked in awe.

"I didn't like, walk around or anything. More like I poked my head out and the Fat Lady wouldn't let me back in"

"Did you call her fat? Because you never call her fat"

"You didn't tell me this?"

"Well I figured that I didn't have to tell you not to go around yelling, 'Hey! You! You're a fatty fatty McFat-fat!'"

Lily laughed.

"Those weren't my exact words"

"_Of course_ they weren't" Alice teased.

"_Who's_ a fatty fatty McFat fat? I thought _we_ were the resident Gryffindor name-callers" called a voice. It seemed to be coming from their left, but there was nothing there but a wall. The girls both turned to see none other but James Potter burst out from behind a tapestry. Both their jaws dropped.

"Oh, yeah, there's a passageway behind there" explained James lamely.

"Are you serious?" asked Alice in a flat voice.

"Well…yeah, I mean, I just…I just came out of there" replied James, clearly unsure whether the girls were upset with him or not.

"Having actually read _Hogwarts, a History_, the amount of things I _don't_ know about this place are truly disturbing" muttered Alice.

"Oh, did you know they're coming out with a new addition? I heard it'll actually include some of the rumors about the supposed Chamber of Secrets. How cool is that?" asked Lily, mostly to veer Alice away from her irritation about a secret passage she knew nothing about.

"Let's just hope it includes a map of secret Hogwarts hallways" she replied, the teasing tone returning to her voice. Lily looked at James, and noticed him smirking ostentatiously.

"And nobody was calling anybody fat, by the way" she mentioned, not even wanting to know why he was smiling. Her guess was that he knew a lot of secret hallways.

"Sure, sure" grinned James.

Lily tried to find a good time to talk to James during Charms, but they were assigned to make iguanas tap-dance, which turned out to be a lot of fun until Remus couldn't make his iguana stop. Professor Flitwick tried his hand at the ever-dancing iguana, but it ended up moving in an upbeat sort of flamenco instead. With James half trying to help out and half trying to stop laughing, Lily couldn't drag him away from the poor lizard to talk to him. Finally somebody managed to make it stop, five minutes after the bell rang.

Lily packed her things slowly, trying to follow Potter down to lunch. Unfortunately, he was dawdling, too, waiting on Remus who was being assigned homework (a _written_ assignment, thankfully) by Flitwick. What she hadn't thought about though, was that Alice was hungry and kept bugging her to leave.

"He'll sit next to you again if he did this morning" she muttered to Lily.

"Well I can't be sure about that" she whispered back.

"He followed you to class instead of going with his friends" she reasoned quietly.

"Somebody might sit down next to me if I go alone, and then he won't get the chance" Lily replied out of the corner of her mouth.

"Then tell them the seat is taken!" she hissed.

"Shh"

"Hey, James! Lily wants to talk to you at lunch" Alice called across the classroom.

He turned and looked surprised, but then his face split into a grin and he gave the thumbs-up sign. Alice then turned to Lily, who was red in the face, and asked if they could go. Lily slammed her last book into her bag, which she'd been pretending to rummage through, and flung it over her shoulder. She followed Alice down to the Great Hall hurriedly.

"You really couldn't wait like, thirty seconds?"

"And then have to walk all slow with you guys down there? And feel all third-wheel-y the whole time? _And_ miss the mashed potatoes in the whole slow process? The potatoes always go first, Lily"

Lily sighed. Now that Alice had told James she had something to say to him, he wouldn't leave her alone until she told him. And she didn't even know what to tell him.

She knew he was cute. Oh, _so_ cute. And he actually liked her, which changed a lot of things; including pretty much her whole opinion about him. He had shaped up a lot since last year; he didn't hex people because they didn't walk fast enough anymore. He was still kind of big-headed, but then again at least he wasn't a confidence-less spine like his friend Pettigrew. She could maybe deal with the big-headedness if he could deal with her knocking him down a peg every once and awhile.

And he made her laugh. Even some of the pranks he used to pull, even when she was Sev's best friend and hated his guts, were funny (though nobody was ever going to get _that _out of her). And hadn't her only real reason for not dating James in the first place been that he didn't feel like that for her?

Except that he did.

The two girls sat down at the Gryffindor table. Alice immediately began filling her plate with food, Lily didn't pick anything up. She wasn't thinking about food. She was thinking about stupid Potter and how she purposefully blinded herself to how likeable he was.

"Alice, I think you were right"

"About?" she asked between bites.

"I never did stop liking Potter"

"James"

"Oh, whatever!"

"No, James!" she reiterated, jerking her chin toward the door. Sure enough, he was walking in with his friends, and Sirius and Mary.

"Wonder where those two went off to" Lily said, changing the subject with no subtlety.

"Probably to the grounds or something so they wouldn't get caught ditching. She looks…better, though"

And it was true. Mary's lip wasn't quivering and her posture was normal. That was good news. Maybe they had a real heart-to-heart…except Lily doubted that heavily. He probably fed her some cock-and-bull story about why he couldn't date her instead of telling her he plain didn't like her 'like that'. Mary would be the one to swallow his bullshit, too.

Lily made herself a plate. She didn't want to appear nervous, even though she was. She nibbled at her steak-and-kidney pie a bit as Potter sat down. Mary made to sit down next to her, but then James slid his arms around her shoulders and deftly moved in front of her to take the seat next to Lily. When she looked affronted, James turned and smiled.

Mary looked slightly irritated and sat down next to him instead. James turned back towards Lily, smacked his elbow on the table and rested his cheek on his fist.

"I've got a very serious question, Lily"

Lily knew he was going to ask her out, and she panicked inwardly. She didn't want to say no this time, but she wasn't ready to say yes yet, either. But he surprised her.

"If you were a pirate, would you like your parrot on this shoulder," he rested his free hand on the shoulder nearest to him, "or _this_ shoulder?" And then he moved his hand to the other shoulder, effectively putting his arm around her.

She and her friends laughed.

"That was so lame" she teased. However, she didn't make a move to throw his arm off.

"But it worked" he said, fist pumping Padfoot, who was still laughing. Upon catching Lily's eye, Sirius raised his eyebrow and tilted his head slightly towards James; a clear indication that he was waiting for her to uphold her end of the bargain.

"So what did you want to tell me?" James asked, turning to look at her, and saving her the act of bringing it up.

"I just….I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to cut you some slack. I realized I've been…kind of mean. And I feel bad about it. So…I'm going to try to be nicer now"

"Oh. Okay, thanks"

And with that he withdrew his arm and started loading up his plate; he didn't even have the usual shadow of a smile on his face that he always had. He was just sort of frowning into his food. She threw a glance at Sirius, who was giving her a 'Seriously?' kind of look. She cocked her brow at him, and he waited until James wasn't looking and mouthed 'later'. She turned to look at Alice, but noticed that Alice was having a silent conversation with Mary, much like the one she'd just had with Sirius. And Remus was just looking back and forth to everybody, mouth open slightly. She smiled at him, and turned back to her plate.

The tension was unbearable. Conversation between the two groups of friends sitting together was limited, because neither James nor Lily was partaking. When the bell rang for Transfiguration, James and his friends got up almost immediately, and set off.

"Okay, what the hell was that about?" Mary demanded the second the boys were out of earshot.

"All the awkwardness?" asked Lily.

"No, all the faces you and Sirius were making at each other. What was going on?"

"Whoa, Mary, chill. He wanted me to talk to James, and I think he wants to talk to me about what I said"

"Yeah, Lily, I thought you were kind of coming on to the idea of dating James" added Alice.

"I am, kind of, I guess. I was just trying to say that I wasn't going to be such an awful bitch to him anymore, and he completely cooled off. What made you think I wasn't?"

"Well it sounded an awful lot like you were being nice _just _because you felt bad about being bitchy"

"I didn't say that" Lily responded.

"That's what I heard" seconded Mary, content with Lily now.

"You think he took it that way?" Lily asked, defeated.

"What do you think?" Mary asked.

"Shit"

Transfiguration was miserable. James sat in the back as usual and all the spots next to and around him were taken. Lily and her friends sat up front, which made it nearly impossible to sneak looks at the boys behind them without being noticed. Lily was thinking so hard about what to say to James that she didn't even take notes, trusting that Alice and Mary would take sufficient enough notes for her to copy later. After class, the boys were the first to leave, and Lily didn't have a chance at catching up to them to talk, having been kept after for a few moments by Professor McGonagall asking her if she felt alright.

After shaking off McGonagall, she set off to Ancient Runes, and Potter off to Care of Magical Creatures. Halfway to class, an idea struck Lily. A bad one, but one that might work nonetheless. Except…she'd never ditched before. Not purposefully, anyway. She slowed, making Alice and Mary turn and stop with her.

"I think I really need to talk to P - James"

"Well, yeah, but we've got class. You'll be late if you try to run down the grounds now"

"What if I'm not just late?"

"Like ditching? You, ditching? Don't you want to be Head-Girl next year, or did _everything_ change about you in the last twenty-four hours?" asked Mary sarcastically.

"I still want to be Head-Girl. Just tell Professor Vector that I felt sick and went to the Hospital Wing"

"She's going to want a note from Madam Pomfrey"

"This is her first year, she's not going to know the difference if I take a little break before going. And after talking to James, I _will_ go to the Hospital Wing…just tell her I don't feel well, please"

"Fine, we will. We'll say you barfed in an urn somewhere" said Alice complacently.

"Whatever makes you happy" Lily joked.

And with that, she hugged her friends and turned in the opposite direction. Hopefully she could catch Potter before the bell rang, because it'd be kind of hard to get to him while he was in class. But luck was not with her; halfway across the grounds, she heard the bell ring from the castle. She employed a few of her best swear words. If she got caught ditching she would kill James until he died from death.

She was in the middle of the grounds, in clear view of the greenhouses. She skittered toward the trees of the Forbidden Forest hurriedly. She'd never been to the forest, naturally. Up close and personal, it didn't look so dangerous. It looked almost inviting with rays of sunshine glowing through the leaves above, and the muffled crunch of dead leaves beneath her feet, the air smelling of pine and a sort of inherent sweetness. But maybe that was the danger; the false sense of security.

She tried to make her way toward the little grove where she'd seen classes taking place through the forest. Perhaps she'd motion toward James through the trees and pray that Professor Kettleburn didn't notice, as the area was about twenty feet away from the forest line. She decided to walk in a straight line towards the class.

About ten minutes later Lily stopped, the fact slowly dawning on her that she was much deeper in the forest than she'd realized. She'd meant to go straight, but must have gone diagonal instead. The sunlight was no longer making the tops of the trees glow, but was showing only in patches where the leaves parted, and leaving the forest abysmally dim. The air smelled stagnant. Her hear fluttered at first, but then, she reasoned with herself, if she just turned to her left and walked straight, she should come back out to the grounds.

And so she did.

A few more minutes told her just how lost she'd gotten herself. How had she gone from just staying deep enough to avoid being seen to being so lost? She sat on a tree stump, angry and afraid. It would have been clear by now that she didn't go to the Hospital Wing. She'd been gone for at least thirty minutes now with no note for Professor Vector. And she was helplessly lost. If she didn't find her way out soon, she would go missing. Would they find her or would some foul monster find her first?

And all this to talk to Potter? Oh, he was so going to pay.

She heard a noise behind her. She jumped from her seat and pulled out her wand in the same motion, tensing into a dueler's stance. But it wasn't a monster.

It was a stag. It was just staring at her, wide-eyed. She lowered her wand to her side, and looked back at the stag. By now it should have run off, but maybe animals in the forest weren't afraid of humans? It's not like they'd had much contact, after all. Instead it took a step closer. She raised her wand again, just in case it was going to attack her.

The stag flinched. Wait, the stag _flinched_? Do stags flinch? Why would it even know to fear a wand? Experimenting, Lily stowed her wand in her back pocket. The stag's ears pointed up in excitement, and he strolled toward her. He stopped a few feet from her, still looking at her. She took a step forward, and reached out her hand to pet it. The stag lowered its head.

She laid her hand on his magnificent head, and its ears relaxed. The stag was easily taller than she was by a foot or so, would it have been standing up straight. Lily looked at his markings, and they were strange. The animal had white dots circling both his eyes, almost like glasses.

"I wonder what prescription your glasses would be" she laughed to herself, touching a mark next to its eye. The stag tore its head from her touch, and looked alarmed. She backed away several paces, and fell over something she hadn't known was there.

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the enormous black thing, but when she saw a large black dog was staring at her, she yelped and grabbed her wand from her pocket. The dog barked at her, and she climbed quickly to her feet, taking aim.

The stag leapt over the dog, landing in the ten feet or so Lily had put between herself and the dog. The stag looked like he could attack, but didn't. He just moved in front of Lily's wand where ever she would point it. Shaking, she finally put it away after accessing that the dog wasn't going to maul her.

"Too much, too much, weird, stupid forest creatures" she mumbled as she turned heel and started walking again. She heard steps behind her. She turned around, and the animals were following her.

"What? What do you want?" she yelled at them irrationally. The animals looked at each other, and the stag crept forward. He lowered his head and gently took the sleeve of her robe between its teeth.

Lily stood there, horrified. The stag gently tugged her in the opposite direction, walking slowly. She tried to break away, but the dog was there, blocking her path, barking. She felt the savage urge to give it a good Silencing Charm. She sighed, and let the stag lead the way. Eventually, it let go of her sleeve, but the dog still followed, almost like it was making sure she didn't turn again.

What would people say if she told them this story? That she was being kidnapped by a pair of forest creatures? Well, one forest creature and a dog. They'd lock her up in St. Mungo's for examination. If she ever got out, nobody would know about this.

As she was thinking about ways to get out (curse the dog, stun the stag), she began to see sunlight, and the smell began to change. She heart lifted; this was the edge of the forest! But how the animals known…?

As she was pondering this, the stag turned to her. It dipped its head down again so she could pet it, but instead she gave it a small hug. She threw a glance towards the dog, and ran to the edge of the forest.

She emerged, and was stunned to see the half-way set sun, and the empty grounds. Her jaw dropped; she hadn't been in the forest for thirty minutes, she'd been in there all day! She yelped and ran full-tilt towards the castle. When she got there, she took the steps two and three at a time. She wrenched open the front door, and nearly flew in, not even turning around in time to see two boys emerging from the trees.


	5. Moony Would Kill You

A/N: I think I'm addicted to writing this story! :D Enjoy!

Lily burst into the common-room. She threw a cursory glance around the room, and when she realized that Alice and Mary were not there, she jogged toward the dormitories. If she could tell anyone about this adventure of sorts, it was them. Plus, she needed help on figuring out what her excuse for missing class was. She threw open the door, and there the girls were, sitting on Alice's bed, looking worried as hell.

"Oh my God, I've got the weirdest story to tell you!" Lily began. But she didn't get to finish, because Alice and Mary had jumped up and started talking at the same time.

"Oh thank god you're okay - "

"We were worried _sick_ - "

"Where were you?"

"How did they find you?"

"Hang on - " said Lily.

"You're a mess, just _look_ at your robes - "

"_Were you in the forest?"_

"She can't have been in the forest…"

"If she was they would have never found her"

"HEY!" Lily yelled. Both of her friends stopped blathering on to look at her.

"_Who_ was supposed to find me, exactly?"

"Don't be mad…"

"We didn't know who else to ask"

"It was either them or the teachers!"

"But seeing as you needed to talk to James anyway, it didn't seem like - "

"You sent _James_ after me? _Into the forest?"_

"You were really in the forest!" yelped Mary.

"Yes, I was," said Lily dismissively, "but do you know if he went into the forest or not?"

"Well… no" replied Alice guiltily.

"So he could still be out there"

"Unless they brought you back, then they are"

"They?"

"He took Sirius, too"

Lily sighed, exasperated. She turned to go down the stairs; maybe Remus and Peter could catch her up on where James and Sirius might be, but Alice caught her shoulder.

"And just where do you think you're going?"

"Back out to find them! I haven't spoken to James yet, remember? That's what this whole day-trip was about. Don't worry; I'm not going to go back to the forest. I met an insane pair of animals and have no desire to see them again"

But the girls followed her out of the dormitory. Halfway down the steps, the portrait-hole opened, and none other but James Potter and Sirius Black entered. Their robes were dirty and torn in places, they shoes caked with mud and dead leaves, and leaves and twigs in their hair and stuck to their robes.

They'd been in the forest. It was the exact same kind of dirty that Lily was.

Lily stared at them, and as she stared, James looked up and met her eyes. She turned to her friends, and shook her head slightly at them. Mary looked slightly irritated, but Alice nodded. The girls turned and walked back up to the dormitory. Lily walked down the remaining steps and through the common room, ignoring the looks she was getting. She walked straight toward the two boys and upon passing them, grabbed James' elbow and walked back out of the portrait hole. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Sirius followed.

They walked a good while until Lily thought the corridor they were in was quite deserted. She opened her mouth to speak, but then Sirius grabbed her wrist and moved a tapestry out of the way. Another secret passage. Great.

"So Alice and Mary sent you guys after me?"

"Alice figured we knew our way around the castle. She said _you_ were ditching to try to talk to me, and probably got lost. I thought they were joking until they asked me to find you for them so they wouldn't have to rat you out. I brought Sirius along for…." they looked at each other, "fun".

"So how long did you stay in the forest?"

Her question clearly set the boys on edge. Sirius shifted his feet, and James' posture changed from lounging to defensive.

"Not long" James replied curtly. Their reactions set Lily's intuition ablaze. They knew something, something about the forest. Did they know about the animals' behavior?

"So you were in the forest the same time I was?"

"Might have been. Might not have been" Sirius said plainly.

"So you didn't see me at all"

"Not at all" smiled James.

"So you just so _happened_ to give up the second I got…_un_lost?" Lily reasoned. It occurred to her that they couldn't have known she was safe inside the castle if they didn't see her, and if she knew James at all (and she did) he wouldn't give up looking for her unless he knew she was safe. Not if he got the chance to be her glorious hero who saved her from the big, bad forest. Something was definitely up.

"It was getting dark" explained Sirius.

"Speaking of all this, you didn't see anything…unusual in the forest, did you?" James asked.

"Unusual" Lily breathed. They knew. She _knew_ they knew.

"Well, we go out there all the time, and there's some weird stuff in there" Sirius said quickly, throwing a glare at James. James threw back a slight shrug.

"What kind of 'weird stuff', Sirius? Like a dog and a stag being friends?"

The two boys froze, but only for a moment. Sirius was about to say something, but Lily cut him off.

"You know what I'm talking about, don't you!"

"Well, we - "

"Oh, I knew it"

Then, Lily and James half-shouted at the same time:  
"I _knew _you guys saw!"  
"We didn't mean to scare you!"

There was a slight pause.

"What?" all three said in unison again.

There was another short silence.

"What do you mean by that?" Lily asked.

The two boys looked at each other, but yet again didn't speak.

"Come on, tell me. Something's up now, so you might as well just spill. I know you guys saw those animals. Why didn't you stop them, or help me, or _something_?" she half-yelled at them.

Sirius laughed once; it was his usual, bark-like laugh, but something about it stirred up something in the back of her head; the dog barking at her, as she withdrew her wand. Lily looked at Sirius, wide-eyed. He had sounded exactly like the dog just then. Potter looked at her, and then she noticed his glasses...which were round like the markings on the stag….

Lily's mouth fell open. No way. There was just no possible way what she was thinking was true. Here she was thinking that the boys had just seen the animal's strange behavior and not done anything about it somehow, but could they…could they have _been_ the stag and the dog?

"Y-you…"

"Lily?" asked James in alarm, who'd been watching her expressions.

"You, you _are_ the…"

"What are you talking about?" asked Sirius harshly.

"How'd you do it?" asked Lily, still shell-shocked.

The boys had cottoned on to what she was talking about, clearly. The looks on their faces were half surprise, half chagrin. They didn't speak.

"Oh don't act all shy now, you're Animagi aren't you!"

Still nothing.

"That's really difficult magic; I can't see how you both did it so well. I mean, that's way past NEWT standards Transfiguration, that is. And you always goof around in McGonagall's class…did you do it because Remus is a werewolf? Is that why you're in the forest _'all the time'_?"

This time, she'd provoked a response. The boys went from frozen, to squawking with shock.

"How did you know?"

"Did you tell anybody?"

"Who'd you hear it from?"

"I bet Snivelly told her, the lying snake"

"Dumbledore made him swear never to tell!"

"Like Snivelly cares!"

"Snape _did_ tell me his suspicions, but when he told me it's not like I hadn't already known" Lily interrupted.

"How'd you know?" Sirius demanded again.

"I'm not _stupid_. He's ill every month at full moon, and if he's not ill, one of his family members _is_, even though he never gets owls in the mail telling him this. So either he's just a brilliant Seer with a crappy immune system, or he's a werewolf. I figured _that one_ out before Snivelly did," Lily explained, "He just put it into words for me".

"Have you told anybody?" James asked.

"Of course not. But that doesn't mean that other people don't know. Alice knows, and I'm fairly sure that Mary does, too. I'm not sure of who else, exactly"

There was an uneasy silence. Lily took advantage of the opportunity.

"So when did you become Animagi?"

"We are not Animagi, and this conversation never happened" Sirius said firmly.

"Well, I say you are, and I certainly say that it _is_ happening" Lily countered.

Sirius turned to James.

"How can you stand this girl?" he asked, a trace of a joking tone in his voice.

"She's smart" was all James said.

"Smart enough to figure you guys out" she muttered.

"We finally mastered our animal states around the middle of last year" said James quietly.

"James!" Sirius whined.

"She knew we were Animagi, the game was up!"

"Well still, you didn't have to tell her"

"If I ever plan on actually dating her, she's going to have to know"

"You gonna tell her everything else, too?"

"What else _is_ there?" asked Lily in an amazed tone.

"Nice one, Padfoot" muttered James.

Lily decided that, since she was apparently ordained to learn all the boys' secrets in due time, anyway, that she'd move past Sirius' flub and deal with the secret at hand.

"Is that why they call you Prongs and Padfoot?"

"And why they call Peter 'Wormtail'" James acquiesced.

"He can too?" Lily asked, the doubt clear in her voice.

"Obviously" Sirius said snippily.

"Oh, sorry, but he just doesn't, well, he's just not as…forget it"

There was another uncomfortable silence. Lily made a note to never let herself look surprised at Peter anymore. If he got on a broom right now and won the Quidditch Cup by himself (despite the fact that he'd never met a broom he didn't crash), she would act like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

"That's some seriously good magic, though. Your forms looked really good" she complimented.

"Thanks," replied Sirius, warming up a bit, "so are you afraid of dogs or something?" he teased.

"Only when they bark at me" she admitted.

"Well, you can't be drawing a wand on a dog" he joked.

"You won't…you won't tell anyone, right? I mean not even Alice and Mary" asked James.

"I won't tell anyone" she agreed. She would have _loved_ to tell her friends, and she wanted to, but it wasn't her secret to bandy about.

Suddenly her stomach let out a loud rumble; Lily realized that she hadn't really eaten since breakfast.

"Is the Great Hall still open for dinner?"

"No, closed awhile ago"

"Damn" she swore. She'd have to wait for breakfast.

"You know, Lily, 'damn' is a nau - "

"I know it's a naughty word, Sirius!" she snapped playfully. She caught James' eye, and they laughed.

"So, do you want some food? You sound hungry" James asked her.

"Well I'd kill for some pork chops, but I guess I'm going to have to wait until morning, won't I?" Lily asked rhetorically.

"Well, not really" James smirked.

"Well by all means, conjure up this magical food that you speak of" Lily said sarcastically.

"I don't conjure it in the way you're thinking of. And besides, you can't conjure food magically" James replied.

"Oh, well look at the big brain on James" Sirius teased.

"Just let me take her to the kitchens, Padfoot, old pal" James said, holding out his hand.

"You want it? How am I supposed to make sure I'm safe getting back to the common-room? Take the cloak"

"If I had the cloak, I'd take the cloak"

"Of course this is the one time you don't have it"

"Sucks, huh? Well there are two of us, one of you. And one of us is an ickle _prefect_" James argued, walking over toward Lily and holding his arms out to her like he was presenting her.

"God forbid she gets in trouble for being out after-hours"

"It's after-hours already?" Lily yelped.

"And yet you've been perfectly fine this whole time" Sirius told her, yet he walked over to James and handed him a rather worn-looking piece of parchment.

"Don't lose it, Prongs. Moony would kill you"

James didn't take it for a moment. He looked at it, as if he was bidden to remember its exact appearance.

"Go on, take it"

"I've just remembered McGonagall telling you that if you got caught out once more she'll tell your folks"

"Like they'll care" Sirius tried to say in a blasé tone, but didn't quite manage it. Lily knew why, too; she remembered the stream of Howlers addressed to him first year because he was in Gryffindor. She knew that his family was nothing to joke about.

"I'll be fine, just take it. You've got her with you"

James looked as confused as Lily felt. He looked at Lily, not wanting her to get caught, but not wanting to risk his best friend, either. Somehow this piece of paper was helpful to them in being able to sneak around after-hours. She didn't know what it did, but she thought that he needed it more than they did. She pushed Sirius' hand back toward him.

"Don't get in trouble…Padfoot" she called him by his nickname for the first time. She'd only ever used it sarcastically, or when she was angry with him, and never to his face. He raised his eyebrow at her, and lowered his hand. He mock-saluted, turned heel and left. She turned to James.

"So you're taking me to the kitchens?" she asked.

"Yeah, the elves are happy to help out any time. They make it look like the most rewarding job on the planet, bless them"

"So what was that piece of paper?"

"I knew you would ask that"

"And what were you saying about a cloak?"

James sighed audibly, but Lily just waited for an answer as he started leading her down the secret passage they were in, both of them lighting their wands.

"Sirius, Moony, Wormtail and I made a map of all the secret passages in, out, and within Hogwarts that we know of. And we reckon between the four of us that we know them all. It also has dots with labels telling us where people are in Hogwarts, so if we see a teacher coming we can bail. We call it the Marauder's Map"

"The _Marauder's_ Map?"

"That…that's what we call ourselves"

"The Marauders? That's not a half-bad nickname for you lot. And the cloak you were talking about?"

"It was my father's, and my grandfather's; goes way back through my family. It's an Invisibility Cloak, and it's dead handy. It's kind of thanks to that cloak that I know so much about this place"

"So it's not just hallways then?"

"Nah, you won't _believe_ the kind of things people talk about when they think nobody's around"

"Eve-dropper" she called him. He looked at her, but she was smiling. Teasing.

"It comes in handy" he said fondly. The passage they were in ended and they came out behind a portrait of a naked woman with an apple, her hair and leaves covering her private areas. They were right by the Grand Staircase.

"I'll be using that hall more often" she remarked. He led her down the stairs and took her to the left, entering a small hall that most people looked over. They walked down the hall in amiable silence. Lily was trying to figure out what to tell James to make up for that afternoon at lunch, but then realized that this was the second time she'd been down this hallway that day.

"This is where Snape took me this morning" she said aloud.

"You went somewhere with Snape? After what he said about you?" James asked, his voice irritated and a little jealous.

"He kind of dragged me" she said nonchalantly.

"He _dragged_ you?" he asked, his voice outraged.

"You know what I mean"

There was a little pause.

"What did he want?" James asked, clearly trying to sound patient and uninterested.

"He wanted to know if I was dating you. Which really isn't any of his business"

"Maybe he's jealous"

Lily laughed.

"It was never like that"

"Really?" he asked, his voice half disbelieving, half hopeful.

"Well, we never dated, and I never wanted to. I never saw him that way, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual"

"Oh, _I'm sure_"

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, but as she asked, James stopped.

It was the same exact spot where Snape had stopped, and Lily thought that that was just too weird, until James reached forward and tickled the pear in the bowl of fruit. It giggled, and a handle sprang from the side of the frame.

"You wanted pork chops, right?"

"Y-yeah"

"Cool"

And he opened the door, and Lily caught sight of the kitchens for the very first time. It was huge, and completely full with house-elves. They rejoiced upon seeing James, and immediately started firing up the ovens. James told them what Lily wanted, and they nodded vigorously, and another house-elf handed the pair two glasses of iced pumpkin juice. Then, upon James' request, they left them alone. The two sat down against the wall opposite of the fruit painting.

"You were saying?" she asked.

"Oh yeah, well, I'm sure it wasn't like that for you, but I bet it was for him"

"How d'you reckon?"

"Lily, any bloke who actually gets to know you would love you. They'd have to be totally, completely, one hundred percent gay to only think of _you _as a friend"

"That…that's very flattering. But Snape and I met when we were nine. He looks at me like a sister"

"I'm telling you, I've seen him looking at you, because I'm always looking at you. Why do you think I hated him so much?"

"Well you hated him before you even liked me"

"Not true. I had a distinct distaste for both of you until I was about thirteen. Then puberty kicked my ass and I realized how amazing you are. I thought you two were dating for the longest time. That's why I hated him"

"Then why didn't you stop hating him when you realized it wasn't like that?"

"Because you were his friend, and you hated me"

Lily didn't quite know what to say. James had just told her a lot, even though she really didn't buy into his notions about Snape and his supposed 'feelings'. But he had just started on about how much he liked her again. He talked about it like it wasn't a big deal that he was crazy about her, but she knew it was killing him all those times she told him to shut it after telling her things like this, the talk she had with Sirius still heavy on her mind.

"I liked you my second year, you know"

"Whaaaaat?" he asked, his voice high and disbelieving.

"Yeah, I did. But you were so mean, and so I cried to Snape about it, who then started filling my head with all this crap about you. That and I already felt bad about liking you when you were so hateful to my best friend. I got myself over it pretty quickly"

"But you _did_ like me once"

"I did" she admitted, nodding.

"D'you think…do you think that maybe you still could?" he asked, clearly going out on a limb.

"I…I think I could. Eventually, _eventually_, Potter!" she ended up half-shouting the last part, because James threw his hands up in the air and shouted "yessssssssss' halfway through her sentence.

He turned to her, his face alive with glee. It melted her heart completely to see him smile so happily. She smiled because she couldn't help it. Smiles breed smiles. And she was happy that he was happy.

She was surprised when he leaned toward her and kissed her. Her eyes automatically closed, and her lips responded. By the time her brain caught up with her actions, it was already too late. Besides, she was enjoying the way his thumb was rubbing her jaw as his fingers clasped at the back of her neck. His other hand wound itself in her hair, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer.

And she had to admit, he was a good kisser.

When the kiss ended, he planted a smaller kiss on her lips. A sweet one, not like the fierce, intense one they'd just shared.

"I knew you dug me, Evans"

She pushed at him playfully.

"At least one of us knew better" she conceded.

He wound his arm around her shoulders, and rested his head against hers until their meals were ready. They were walking back to the common-room when James finally spoke.

"So you do like me, right? It's not just pity or anything?"

"No, of course not. I meant to talk to you about that, but then things like Animagi and snogging got in the way. I completely messed up my wording this morning. I think that we could have a shot, now that I know you're not just trying to get what you can't have"

"What made you see that?" he asked.

She paused. Would he be angry at Sirius like she'd been upset with Alice? Should she tell him?

"Sirius and I had a talk" she said, deciding.

"About me" he qualified.

"About how you weren't just trying to get into my pants and how I should get over myself and just date you already"

"Good man, Sirius" he said in a satisfied tone. And with that he wound his free hand in hers.

They went back to the common-room, which was nearly empty. They ate their food, and sat talking until it was just them alone. The fire started going down when Lily announced that she was dead-beat. She got up, but James pulled her back in for a small kiss. She brushed her hand down his neck and to his chest, and then got up and went to her dormitory. She waved, and walked in.

Her roommates were asleep, which was good for now. She needed time to think. In _one day_ she'd gone from dismissing James totally, to making out with him after-hours and out-of-bounds. She'd dueled Snape with him, ditched class for him, gone through the Forbidden Forest for him, and broke into the school kitchens with him. She'd found out that he and his friends were Animagus, confirmed that Remus Lupin was indeed a werewolf, and that to aid them in their many rule-breaking quests, _The Marauders_ used an Invisibility Cloak to roam about the school, and then recorded their findings on a mysterious map.

She'd found out the depth of his feelings, and remembered that she returned them. She'd learned how funny he was, and how sincere. She changed out of her torn and dirty robes quickly, changing into comfier pajamas. She collapsed into bed, and hid her face behind her hands.

What a long day.


	6. Have Fun On Your Date Then

A/N: Hey guys, I just thought I'd let you know that the name 'Braxton' came from another writer, Annunminuialiel (who has a KICK ASS story, btw). The name just really stuck with me, and I thought I'd borrow it :] Enjoy!

* * *

Lily lay in bed, pretending to be asleep. Alice, Mary, and another roommate of theirs, Hestia, were busy with their morning routines; it was a bright, mellow Saturday morning, and she'd slept in.

While she liked Hestia very much, and she was a very competent listener, Lily didn't want to tell Hestia about her private business. Namely snogging James Potter. Her eyes clenched, and she had to fight to get them to relax again. God, _she'd snogged Potter_ last night. She breathed in and out through her nose, deep but quiet breaths. Every time she thought about it her heart fluttered.

Fortunately for Lily, Hestia had Ravenclaw friends, and left early to meet up with them in the Great Hall. The second the door closed softly, Lily shot up like a firework. Both of her friends jumped violently. Mary fell off of her bed and Alice's gum fell out of her mouth; Lily couldn't help but laugh at them.

"Bloody hell, were you awake this whole time?" asked Mary, agitated.

"For a few minutes. I like Hestia and all…but this is for your ears only"

And with that both of her friends leaned in closely, urging her to tell them all of what happened last night. Lily explained what had happened in the forest, but left out the animals. She told her friends that she somehow found her way out on her own. When she finished, she was completely unsurprised to see her friends' faces still expectant; she'd left them hanging on purpose.

"…and what about James? You talked to him, right?"

"Yes, I guess you could say I did"

The girls waited for Lily to go on, while she tried not to smile.

"And?" they both asked at the same time when she didn't.

"I…I snogged him"

"WHAT!" yelped Alice delightedly.

"Oh that is so unfair" teased Mary.

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

"What does this mean between the two of you?"

"Are you going to date?

"Are you interested?"

"Guys, GUYS! I don't know. It was just for a minute, and yes, I enjoyed it" Lily answered them, muttering the last part out of embarrassment.

Her friends were quiet for a moment.

"Well thank God" said Alice, finally, popping in another piece of Droobles bubble gum.

"Yeah, it was about time" said Mary with a smile. And with that, the girls finished up their morning routines.

With her make-up applied, her robes clean and pressed and her hair (definitely this time) meticulously combed, Lily prepared to leave the dormitory. She was stuck staring at the doorknob as though it had confused her. She knew that James would be waiting for her in the common-room. Of course he would be.

He waited for her on normal days, and this was most certainly _not_ a normal day.

Finally, getting tired of her friends exchanging smirks behind her back, she flung her hand out and yanked the door open with unnecessary force. With a deep breath in, she trotted outside, and flew down the stairs, for they had become a slide at the last minute.

Lily would have crumpled into a heap at the bottom if a pair of strong hands did not catch her and hold her up, allowing her to orient herself. She looked, up, and was about to tell Potter off for his prank, but saw somebody else holding her instead.

It was Braxton. Her mind let out quite a few expletives, but her face remained straight, and smiled up at him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alice and Mary at the top of the stairs and start chatting nonchalantly. It seemed like they weren't going to help her out of this one. Dammit.

"H-hi, Braxton. Nice trick you pulled there, I could have broken my ankle, and then what would you do?" she asked, half teasing, half snidely.

"I thought it would be funny. You seem to…appreciate pranksters lately" he smirked, and Lily's face went crimson. She stepped away from Braxton slightly, releasing herself from the hold he still had on her upper arms.

"Well, ha ha, Braxton…" she muttered, trying to edge her way around him to see if James was waiting for her. But he moved with her.

"Where were you yesterday, Lily? We had an excellent Runes class. Vector finally went over Stonehenge"

"Really? And on the one day that I'm not there, too" Lily responded, only half-listening. She continued trying to glance around him to look for James, maybe shoot him a smile or something, but Braxton's midriff was obscuring half the common-room.

"So…where were you?" he asked, and Lily's eyes shot back to his.

She was tempted to tell him the truth, or at least some of it, just to get him out of her way. But that would cruel…in truth, yesterday with James she'd forgotten all about Braxton, and the date she'd promised him. While her feelings about James had changed, the ones about Braxton had not. He was still wildly attractive, and could be witty. Lily bit her lip, her mind still trying to work out an answer to his question.

"I was sick" she finally replied.

Braxton's expression was unreadable; no doubt he knew she was lying. But if that was the case then he didn't show it, because his face split into a grin.

"Feeling better now, though, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah, but - "

"So you wouldn't mind eating breakfast with me then?" he asked, not bothering to wait for an answer. Her took her arm, wound it around his own, and frog-marched her to the portrait-hole. They were passing the fire-place when she felt eyes drilling holes into her. She swung her head around, and saw James, sitting alone, staring after her with a look of confusion on his face. She mouthed 'sorry', but couldn't do anything more, for Braxton had picked her up, bride-style, to take her through the portrait-hole.

Once outside it, Braxton set her down, as she was struggling. She yanked her arm out of the vice that was his, and promptly hit him in the chest.

"Braxton, you prat! What on earth was _that_ all about?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just a public display of affection"

"_Public_ is the right word. In fact, do it again! I don't think half of Hogsmeade saw! _Don't you do it again_" warned Lily as Braxton came at her with his hand outstretched.

There was a short silence.

"Sorry, then"

"I'm not a show-dog, Braxton" Lily said, pulling an excuse off the top of her head. She was angry because she wanted to eat breakfast with Potter this morning, and Braxton just wasn't going to let that happen. But should she tell Braxton that?

"A what?"

"Nevermind" she snapped.

When it appeared that James wasn't going to come out of the portrait-hole after her, Lily turned, and trudged toward the Great Hall.

For the most part, Lily tried her hardest to not let her face dip into a sour look. This morning had _not_ gone how it was intended to. How had she forgotten about Braxton? She'd had a crush on him for awhile, and when he'd finally asked her to the next Hogsmeade outing (_which was next week!_) she'd agreed with no hesitation.

But that had been two weeks ago. That had been before James Potter was anything more than a cheeky snot-rag. What if James asked her to go with him? Lily wanted to bury her face in her hands. Braxton was nice, and witty, and insanely handsome. But everything that Braxton was, James was more. And how horrid of her would it be that once he finally achieved the impossible feat of snogging her, she ditched him to go to Hogsmeade with somebody else?

She couldn't believe she'd forgotten about Braxton. Lily's inner-monologue paused. Was that her answer then? As much as she'd liked him before, she'd forgotten about it the second James sat down beside her for breakfast. She then started arguing with herself. After all, yesterday had gone by in such a blur. And just because Braxton hadn't crossed her mind (not once), didn't mean that she didn't like him as much…but then again since when had Braxton made her feel like James did last night?

Lily didn't get too far arguing with herself when she was interrupted.

"Morning, Lily" said a familiar voice. Lily's head shot up from glaring at her food, and found that James had sat down across from her, and was helping himself to some bacon.

"McLaggen" acknowledged Potter. Braxton merely nodded in return.

"Have a fair night last night, Lily?" asked James, winking. Lily stifled a giggle, and Braxton was looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"Well, as far as nights go, it was pretty fantastic" she muttered into her coffee. James' face slid into and easy grin, throwing a small smirk at Braxton, which didn't go amiss.

"Lily and I were just discussing where we were going to go on _our date_ next week" Braxton burst out with. This was completely untrue, as neither of them had been speaking before James arrived.

"No we weren't" she blurted out. Lily bit her lip; Braxton was looking at her with a confused look, and all she could do was shrug. James was smirking again.

"Well I was about to ask" replied Braxton slowly.

"Ask her to Hogsmeade?"

"No, ask her what she wanted to do while we're there"

There was a short silence, and now Braxton was smirking.

"You're going to Hogsmeade with him?" asked James quietly. Lily resisted the urge to bow her head, opting instead to gnaw on her lip some more, and nod. James stopped leaning toward her, and sat up straight.

"Have fun on your date then"

Lily wanted to scream. What a horrible morning! The rest of the meal was eaten in silence, with Lily only picking at her food. James eventually got up and sat with the other Marauders, who she watched out of the corner of her eye. It didn't take long before Sirius was throwing her disdainful looks. She tried to give him a 'help me' face, but he looked away in contempt. Braxton had the nerve to try to hold her hand. She moved her hand to her lap the second she saw his hand inch toward hers.

"So I was thinking about going to that new place, Madam Puddifoot's. It's supposed to have excellent coffee"

"I suppose"

"Well…we could always go to the Three Broomsticks. I mean, you can never go wrong with Butterbeer, am I right?"

"Yeah, sure. Three Broomsticks"

He seemed to think this an appropriate answer.

"Well then I," he said as he stood up, "will see you around. I've got some homework to do. Unless you want to join?"

"I'm good"

"Alright then…see you later"

"Okay"

And then he tried to dive in for a kiss on the cheek, which Lily sensed in the nick of time. She turned her head away, and he only managed to catch her ear. She kept her head turned until heard Braxton walk away. She peeked around to see if he was gone, and once he was, she shot over toward the Marauders. None of them aside from Remus turned their head as she approached.

"James, can I talk to you?"

"Does your boyfriend want nasty James to stay away?"asked Sirius viciously, "Or let me guess. You've had enough snogging with that one so you've decided to give James another go"

"It's not like that, Sirius!" Lily snapped, insulted that he could think that way about her. She hoped James didn't.

"James, please?"

He hesitated, and then got up from the table, and started walking away. He got about ten paces before he turned around and looked at her.

"Are you coming?"

And Lily's face broke into the first true smile she'd worn that day.


	7. I Know Dammit Is A Naughty Word

The two walked all the way down to the large beech tree by the lake before they stopped. It was early spring, and winter's chill hadn't entirely passed yet. The tip of Lily's nose was starting to go numb, but she ignored it. James stood, arms crossed, staring across the lake. Lily leaned against the tree, waiting for him to say something.

Evidently, he was waiting on her as well, because he cleared his throat.

"You wanted to say something to me?"

"Yes…I'm sorry for this morning. I agreed to that date _weeks_ ago, back when I thought I'd like you the day that I willingly ate frog spawn, but I just…I forgot about him yesterday! I did! That's not like me, usually I have a great memory, but he just…slipped my mind" she said quietly, stepping a small step in James' direction.

"Slipped your mind?" he asked blankly, still not facing her.

"Yes" she said, slightly breathless.

"Did it _slip your mind_ this morning when you went to breakfast with him this morning that…well…that last night happened?"

"No, it didn't. He just took me by surprise"

"Did you cancel your date?"

Lily couldn't answer.

"Well?" James asked, turning to her.

"…no" she whispered.

"Why not?" he half-shouted at her.

"Don't yell at me, Potter! I just – it wasn't easy, and – he's just so pushy, and excited about it and I just…"

"_Forgot?_" asked James nastily, visibly reacting to her use of his last name.

"I didn't want to be a wanker about it! I feel bad enough as it is, liking you and him at the same time, but - "

"Wait a minute. You like _both of us_?"

"Well, maybe not…I mean, no…it's just – it's just complicated, isn't it?" Lily spluttered, running a hand through her hair.

"Well either you like us both or you don't"

"It's different with you and different with him. I'd liked him for ages…before. And then last night happened and now I just don't know what to think…I mean…you're so ...not Braxton"

Saying Braxton's name seemed to act like a stimulant in James. He started shaking slightly and began pacing.

"I'm not…._I'm not Braxton_?" he asked, his voice barely escaping from shaking itself.

"It's a good thing" Lily replied, slightly alarmed by James' behavior.

"Then why are you going to Hogsmeade with _him_?" he asked as he stopped pacing, turning round to look Lily straight in the face.

And Lily had no answer. Her face fell, and she looked at the almost-green ground. She didn't look up as James stood for a moment, and then stalked past her, back toward the castle. When he was gone, she wasn't afraid to let the moisture in her eyes spill over. She sat down by the tree, and finally buried her face in her hands.

She didn't know how long she sat there, but her tears had long since dried when her friends found her; she was just staring into the lake, wondering what lay beneath its inky surface. She didn't pay attention to the footsteps at first, but when Alice knelt down beside her and began speaking words of comfort, Lily twisted and let Alice throw her arm around her.

The three were quiet for a long time, until it seemed that Mary couldn't contain herself anymore.

"Who knew you liked Potter this much"

"It's almost like a replay of second year" conceded Alice.

"So you two don't blame me for forgetting about McLaggen?"

"Braxton?" Alice laughed, "Even _I_ forgot about that bloke"

"I figured that since you two hadn't really…well, interacted much, that he wasn't even a key player" Mary chimed in.

"That's true…but between me being a prefect and him being on the Quidditch team we don't really get a lot of time to spend together" Lily tried to explain.

"James is on the Quidditch team, and he's always around" Alice pointed out.

"His friends probably keep him busy"

"Or he just doesn't bother to be around" Mary said bluntly.

"And you never really made a concentrated effort to see him either"

This gave Lily a lot to think about.

"I called him 'Potter'…and told him he wasn't Braxton" she admitted to them.

"Aw, Lily" Alice moaned, yet hugged her closer.

The rest of the day passed by in kind of a fog. She kept hoping to catch glimpses of the Marauders, but was completely unsuccessful. After dinner (where the boys were yet again conspicuously absent), Lily was rushing out of the Hall towards the common room, hoping against hope to at least see James. She needed to see how angry he was at her. She wasn't really watching where she was going, and ran headlong into somebody. She looked up to apologize, and saw that it was none other than Remus Lupin.

"Remus!" she exclaimed.

"Uh, hi Lily" he replied uncomfortably.

"How angry is he? How bad did I mess up?" she asked as Mary and Alice caught up with her.

"He's…he's pretty upset"

Lily winced, and bit her lip.

"How bad did I mess up?" she repeated her question quietly.

"I don't really know. I mean, he really likes you, so this could all go away…if Braxton is magically taken out of the picture" he hinted heavily.

"All I have to do is get rid of Braxton?"

"Well, maybe. As I hear it you said some pretty mean stuff out there"

"It was taken the wrong way" she defended herself.

"Even so, that's still the way he took it"

"Dammit" she muttered.

"Lily - " he began.

"_I know dammit is a naughty word_" she nearly hissed through her teeth.

"That's…not at all what I was going to say"

"Oh…sorry. Just something James and Sirius say"

"What I was _going to say_ is that you need to get rid of McLaggen, and apologize to James. And fairly soon, if you can manage it. And humiliating McLaggen definitely wouldn't hurt your chances, either. James seems to think he's been somewhat singled out"

"Singled out?"

"You said you didn't want to 'be a wanker' about dumping McLaggen, but you never seemed to have a problem being bitchy to James"

Lily stood there with her mouth open.

"But that's different!" she spluttered.

"How, exactly?"

"I never thought I was seriously hurting his feelings, and when I realized it, I stopped! McLaggen actually likes me!"

"Maybe" Alice slid in.

"Maybe?" asked Remus.

"It's a theory we're working on" Mary answered.

"Look, Lily. If you want to be with James, get McLaggen out of the picture. Period. It's going to suck, but it's not like you're not used to it"

Lily was stung by his remark, but it's not like it wasn't true.

"Can you tell him how sorry I am?"

"I don't know how sorry you are" Remus answered with just a touch of acid in his voice.

"Well then just tell him that I'm ridiculously sorry"

"If I can get a word in edgewise, I suppose I will"

He turned to leave.

"Thanks for telling us where she was" Alice called after him. He turned and did a mock-salute before heading in the direction of the kitchens.

"We were looking for you, and he told us what happened, and where you were" Mary explained.

But quite frankly, Lily did not care. Her mission now was to end her and Braxton's whatever-it-was, and very publicly. She wanted James to see, but who knew when that was going to be if the Marauders kept avoiding her like this?

"REMUS!" she yelled out. She called his name again, and he turned. She sprinted over to him.

"Can you…can you please get James in the common room at about…nine thirty?" she asked, slightly out of breath.

"He won't want to go up there"

"Is there any way you could convince him? I want James to see it, when I get rid of Braxton"

"I might be able to…"

"I need him to see, Remus"

"I can try. If not, I'll be there to bear witness" he replied, throwing her a half-smile.

"You…you don't think I'm horrible, do you?"

"It's a messed up situation, yes, and James really can't be angry with you for what happened before you two…resolved your differences," he smirked, "but you really should have called off the date. And maybe mentioned how ugly you think Braxton is. And you shouldn't have told him he's not Braxton, either"

"I meant… oh I don't know what I meant" she moaned.

There was a short pause; Remus seemed to be steeling himself.

"You really don't care about…about my furry little problem?" he asked tentatively.

"Your what? Oh! I get it! ...Oh, Remus, no I don't. How can you help that? It doesn't make you any less of a person"

"I don't scare you at all?"

"No offense, Mister Lupin, but I think I could take you" Lily joked.

"You won't be so sure of yourself in two weeks" he muttered.

"You know, you should really try to think of some new excuses for ditching. That's how Alice and I figured it out, you know" she replied, ignoring his comment purposefully.

"I'll bear that in mind" he smiled. And with that, he waved and went on.

Lily turned, and headed off to the common-room. She had to find Braxton, and figure out a way to publicly reject him.

Three days ago she wouldn't have even dreamed that she'd be in this situation; dumping Braxton to try to get James to talk to her again. How bizarre. It wasn't that she didn't like Braxton; he had all the qualities she admired, even if he was a bit pompous and presuming. But today, all he did was irritate her; it had gotten to the point where she wasn't sure what she'd seen in him. The visions of landing a punch right in James' suck-hole were now of landing one in Braxton's. It was a complicated mess with Braxton. And she knew only one thing about James, and that was that she enjoyed his company. How curious that it took less than twenty-four hours to flip-flop.

Before she knew it, Lily was back in the common-room, sitting by the fire. Alice and Mary had come ahead of her, and were chatting idly over their homework. They were gossiping about a girl she didn't know, some Bertha Jorkins. Apparently, according to Alice's older brother Algie, she was making a real arse of herself at the Ministry. Even though she'd heard the entire conversation, she couldn't give any more information than that. She wasn't paying them much mind; she was keeping an eagle's eye out for both Braxton and James, with no luck so far.

Was Braxton in his dormitory? Was he practicing Quidditch? Was he in the library, maybe? He had to be around here somewhere. The same was true for James. She knew he was avoiding her, but would Remus convince him? Lily sat, consumed.

Just a few moments later, Braxton came in, surrounded by his friends, whom Lily didn't know personally. She recognized Daniel Corner and Steve Macmillan, but she couldn't be positive as to who the others were. She caught Braxton's eye, and gestured that he sit next to her. His friends sniggered, and elbowed him over. One of the boys she didn't know licked his lips in an ostentatious manner. Lily tried hard to keep the disgusted look off of her face. He sat down next to her obligingly, and tried yet again to take her hand. She tried moving it, but Braxton wasn't going to have any of that. He reached for her hand and snatched it from her lap. This time she couldn't fail to keep the scandalized expression off her face. He smirked at her.

"What can I do for you, doll?"

"_Doll?"_

"I think it's cute. Don't you?"

"…not really"

"So what do you want?" he asked bluntly.

"I just…nothing really" she faltered. She glanced around the common-room, looking for any sign of James or Remus. There was none.

"You just wanted to be around me, that's cool" he replied in an arrogant tone. Lily turned her head, and caught Alice's expression. She almost laughed. She turned back toward Braxton, trying to think of something to say, but she didn't expect him to be so close.

He was just inches away from her face. She felt his warm breath on her face, and it smelled strongly of smoke and mint. She made the mistake of looking into his eyes, and the next thing she knew, his face was ramming into hers. Braxton's lips were groping around hers, and she was still in shock. It only took a second for her to snap out of it, and push him off.

"Braxton!" she yelped.

He backed away, looking at her with a confused and irritated look on his face. Lily turned away from him and around the common-room.

He was there. Of course he was there. Lily's face contorted from angry to pleading. James looked at her, hurt clear on his face, and stalked back out of the portrait-hole.


	8. I'm Always Serious

Lily sat, frozen.

That _did not_ just happen.

The rest of the Marauders stood still, mouths open, presumably in shock. So Lily didn't waste her chance, even if James wouldn't be around to see it. She jerked off the couch with an angry fervor.

"Braxton, you toe-rag! You've been treating me like a piece of meat _all day_, which is just really rich of you, since you apparently _don't give enough of a damn_ to see me every day! Over there laughing with your friends, just assuming I'm _ever so pleased_ to be going with you to Hogsmeade! Well you know what, _doll_? Hogsmeade is off. God, you're such an _arrogant pig_, pushing yourself at me like that! I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that _fat head_ on it! You _make me SICK_!"

And with that, she stormed to her dormitories, the whole common-room staring between her and Braxton. She caught Remus' eye, and flashed a smile. He returned it briefly, before turning to Sirius and Peter, both of whose eyebrows were threatening to permanently reside in their hair.

Once she was alone, she smirked. She'd used that last line on purpose, and with great effect it seemed. It wasn't long before Alice and Mary joined her, howling in laughter. They told her that the Marauders had left, but had left laughing. This cheered her up immensely. Maybe the next morning James would be waiting for her, and they would be one short talk away from being back on track to…whatever they were going to be. Maybe he'd kiss her again. It was with that thought that Lily fell asleep.

"I'm glad you came" Lily spoke into the darkness.

"You know I wouldn't miss this" he answered, and the darkness seeped away. James Potter stood before her, dressed handsomely with windblown hair.

"Can you believe it's been this long?"

"No, Lily, I can't" he caressed her face.

"I love you" she whispered.

"I know" he breathed back.

And they were kissing. It was wonderful, and sensuous. She could feel his love for her in her every pore, and his sweet scent filled her nose. She was in complete bliss.

Suddenly his lips clamped down hard on hers. She tried to cry out and pull away, but it didn't work. This hurt. This was wrong. The smell changed; it was damp, and it smelled heavily of smoke. Her eyes snapped open, and it was now Braxton kissing her, his eyes open and glaring. Hands wove themselves into her hair, forcing her to stay put. She thrashed, trying to get free. Pain shot through her leg.

Lily's eyes shot open. She was on the floor of her dormitory, her left leg wrapped up in her blankets and her eyes inches from her bedside table. She sat up gingerly, and rubbed her right knee. She must have fallen off of the bed, and landed on it. She planted a kiss on her knee; it didn't help, necessarily, but it made her feel a bit better. She shook her head as she pulled her left leg loose; the nightmare was still fresh on her mind. She tried to regulate her breathing. She guessed she had her answer, then. How could she possibly like somebody she had nightmares about? The era of Braxton McLaggen had now come to an end. But she now had the era of James Potter to look forward to…hopefully.

The next morning found Lily extremely groggy. She hadn't been able to sleep very well after her nightmare, and the pain in her knee was dull, but definitely there. She gave up on sleep long before any of her roommates were awake, and decided to grab an early breakfast. She trudged to her dresser and pulled out jeans and a tank top, and threw her robes on over them. School uniforms didn't really matter on weekends.

She limped alone down the halls, the pain in her knee still aching away. It somehow seemed eerie, even though the pale morning sun was shining through the windows. She wondered if James ever got creeped out by his midnight wanderings, what with ghosts and caretakers out and about. But of course, she supposed that he never had to worry about old Apollyon Pringle, what with his cloak and his map.

She was one of the first to enter the Great Hall. The Divination teacher, a severely elderly man, was eating his cereal with much difficulty, and other than him there were maybe two or three people all-in-all. Lily recognized Ogg, and his assistant Hagrid. He waved at her, and she half-heartedly waved back. While she was sure Hagrid was a nice person, she really didn't feel like interacting with another male that wasn't James Potter at the moment.

She sat down at the only student table with food on it, the Slytherin table. She helped herself to a muffin and sat in a thoughtful silence. She would have to catch up with James today, just to see if the boys had relayed her outburst. She hoped they had, and while Braxton wasn't really a likely candidate anymore, she really hoped that he wasn't _too _upset about it. She felt somebody sit beside her.

"Lily"

"Snape" she acknowledged.

And the two ate in silence. Lily didn't even feel like she had the energy to get angry at him for choosing the seat next to her out of all the open seats available. The most she could do given last night's sleep was move down a seat, a fact that Snape didn't miss.

Lily thought about what James had said; that no straight man would ever see her as just a friend. She thought that those were probably biased words, considering whose mouth they had come out of, but part of her brain questioned whether James was right or not; looking back, he did display some characteristics of liking her. Like his complete hatred of James Potter, especially after he started liking her. Or the fact that he never once mentioned a girl he liked in their entire friendship, or if she ever wanted him to do something, all she had to do was look into his eyes. She pushed these thoughts away; even if he did like her it wouldn't matter anyway.

Lily finished her muffin and made to get up, but Snape grabbed her arm. She shook him off, and made a disgusted noise.

"Lily, please, I just want to say - "

But she was already gone. She strode away from the table as quickly as she could move, passing the Ravenclaw Quidditch team as they came in from practice, muddy and tired-looking.

She sat in the common room for what had to have at least been an hour. She was reading a book about the Tutshill Tornadoes. She was in the middle of reading about how they'd won the fastest game ever played, when she heard footsteps descending from the boys' dormitories.

She jerked up from her relaxed position, and found herself staring at Sirius Black. With one look at her, he laughed once, and sighed. He strutted over and sat down on the other end of the couch she was sitting on.

Lily picked up her book, but she wasn't reading it. She was waiting on Sirius to say something. And of course, he did.

"You meant what you said then?"

"Which time?"

"You know what I mean…with McLaggen"

"Look, Sirius. If I wanted to be with McLaggen, I would be. But…I don't want to be with Braxton. And it was never like how you put it yesterday, by the way. I never even willingly kissed Braxton"

But Sirius didn't seem to be paying much attention; he was examining his finger-nails intently.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sirius. I didn't realize what your nails had to say was so important, so I'll just wait until they're finished" she snapped. He let out a bark-like laugh.

"You know, James and I have been trying to work on the Plumpton Pass" he said casually, nodding to her book. He was referring to a signature move of the Tornadoes' seeker, but she didn't really see what that had to do with the conversation.

"That's…great?"

"So, are you really interested in Quidditch? I've never seen you at a game"

"When I was friends with Snivellus, we used to skip the games and revise our Potions books" she replied tartly. Sirius snorted, but didn't say anything otherwise.

"I've never really been a great flier, but it really is a good sport" she continued.

And he was examining his fingernails again. Lily stared at him for a few seconds before she burst.

"Look, enough about Quidditch. Are James and I going to be okay?"

"You're going to have to talk to him about that" he replied dryly.

"He keeps avoiding me!"

"Well then don't let him"

"Oh there's a good plan! Let me just go upstairs and get my tracker and my radar and I'll be all set!" she said sarcastically, ignoring the confused look on Black's face.

"Look, Lily. I see that you regret what you did. But James…to put it plain and simple, his pride has taken a huge hit. He's probably just going to need time to get over himself. In the meantime, though, try to catch up to us" Sirius said as he got up.

"And by the way," he said, leaning in to whisper in Lily's ear, "he found what you said to McLaggen _hilarious_"

"Seriously?"

"Oh, Lily. I'm always _serious_"

"Oh ha, ha" she laughed at his lame joke.

And with that he walked back to his dormitory. That was the last of the Marauders she saw all day. She saw the boys in classes on Monday, of course, but every time she tried to sit next to, or near them, the group would somehow shift to where she and James would not be close.

On Tuesday, she managed to get a grin from Remus and a half-nod from Sirius, but nothing from Peter or James, whose backs were studiously turned to her. Braxton tried to talk to her after her Arithmancy class, but the conversation was meager. Lily excused herself to go to the loo as soon as she could, and he didn't try to speak with her for the rest of the day.

On Wednesday, things took a turn for the worst when stupid Patricia Patil tried to flirt with James in History of Magic. It got to the point where Professor Binns even told her to be quiet, and he was so old and deaf that half the student body was sure he was going to kick it any week now. The only reassurance that Lily got from that was that the whole time he was flirting with Patricia, he kept sneaking glances in her direction; the first sign of acknowledgement all week. She also got a detention from Professor Vector for ditching her class the previous Friday, scheduled for the next Sunday, after the trip to Hogsmeade. Lily had never gotten a detention before; she panicked inwardly over whether or not this would jeopardize her running for Head Girl.

Thursday passed by without much activity, other than Snape staring at her over his textbook in Defense Against The Dark Arts. Her knee was really starting to bother her, but it was just a really nasty bruise. Braxton tried to approach her again, but she saw him coming and ducked into a bathroom again, waiting only until after the bell rang to come out. She didn't know how this week could get any worse.

But Friday somehow was better. In Potions class, Professor Slughorn passed a few rolls of parchment with a deep purple ribbon out to select students. Lily noticed that she, Snape, James, Alice and Sirius, two Slytherin boys named Nott and Avery, and a Barnabus Cuffe all got one. After the class ended, Lily hung around, cleaning up some powdered Lionfish spines that she spilled on purpose, for Slughorn was now chatting with James.

She only caught snippets of the conversation, but it sounded like James was agreeing to finally go to one of Slughorn's suppers. It wasn't like they weren't enjoyable; he'd just go on for a little while about the people he knew and the connections he had, and then he would move the conversation on to idle chit-chat. And the food was always delicious.

And since James was going, it looked like Lily was, too. She opened the invitation, and saw that the supper was tomorrow night, and was a sort of meet-and-greet, apparently. A few different executives from the Ministry, St. Mungoes' and a couple specialty shop-owners from Diagon Ally were scheduled to be there. She hid a smile; this was exactly the thing that Slughorn lived for; connections.

She shoved the paper into her bag. It looked like a busy weekend so far; a slug club party on Saturday and a Hogsmeade trip plus her first-ever detention on Sunday, and trying to talk to James at every moment in between. She had a half-hour before her next class, so she hurried after Alice to the dormitory to find something stunning to wear to the dinner the next night.

"How about this one?" Alice asked, holding up a dress-robe that had no back and plunging slits down the sides.

"Well that depends. Am I going to the party as a guest or an escort?" Lily asked, comparing two dress-robes of the same design, but two different colors.

"Oh, very funny. My grandmother gave me this dress"

"Which one, the blind one?"

"…that's not the point" she muttered, hiding a smile.

"It really doesn't matter as long as it makes James do a double take" Lily smirked, thinking of the look on his face when he saw how she looked. Then she'd see if he didn't want to talk to her.

"Oooh, what if Braxton is there?" Alice asked.

"He…I'm sure he won't be" Lily replied, completely unsure of whether or not he would decide to show up.

"Well he might. And that would make for one awkward party" she giggled.

"Well it's funny to you, but that prat pretty much ruined my week"

"You kind of ruined your week" Mary replied from her bed, watching her friends look at robes. She was still sour that she hadn't gotten an invitation, even though Lily was bringing her anyway. Even still, Lily ignored her attitude.

"Anyway, Lily, I'm sure James'll look twice no matter what you wear" Alice told her, paving over the sticky moment.

"Yeah…I'm sure he will" Lily replied, not sure at all.


	9. You Have A Real Way With The Ladiesss

Lily took a deep breath. She was standing in the bathroom that was attached to her dormitory, looking at herself in the floor-length mirror. She thought she looked pretty okay.

None of the dress robes that she, Alice or Mary had were quite suitable for the dinner, but then Hestia came to the rescue with a black dress that was charmed to shimmer slightly. The only issue was the hem of the dress stopped just above her knees, and her knee was still a nasty purple color, tinged with green. Lily had her hair combed back into an elegant bun, and was technically finished getting ready. She just hated how ugly her knee looked. She took a step away from the mirror, and opened up the door.

Alice and Mary were putting their shoes on, looking excited. Lily was excited too, but the butterflies in her stomach were making it really hard to feel properly hungry. She planned on cornering James at the party tonight, and hopefully moving past this. After a week with only glances shared between them, Lily found that she missed him. He'd been bugging her for years, and it just felt off not having him talk to her every day.

Entering the party was like leaving Hogwarts. It was placed in the dungeons, but instead of the slight chill Lily expected, she found it to be quite warm and cozy. All around the dungeon Slughorn had placed small tables, with plates full of appetizers and hors d'oeuvres. There was a bar on the other end, and house-elves were already winding their way through people to deliver drinks.

Lily accepted a glass of champagne with a note of surprise; Slughorn must have really thrown himself into this party. There were already quite a few people here, but Lily wanted to find Slughorn first. At least that was easy; all she had to do was look around for the biggest crowd. She found him after a moment's look, and traipsed up to say hello.

"Hello Professor" she greeted him sweetly when he finished his conversation.

"Lily Evans! Oh Lily, Lily, I was so hoping you would come. So glad you could make it" he said warmly as he rubbed the side of her arm in a paternal sort of way. "Come along now, there are some truly fascinating people I want you to meet. I trust you know Ambrosius Flume, owner of Honeydukes…"

And on he went. When Lily finally escaped, she found Mary sitting alone. Lily sat down beside her, and prepared herself for the irritation that was likely to be coming her way shortly; Mary wasn't looking too pleased.

"Where's Alice?" she asked her.

"Oh, Frank showed up and they went to go get a bite to eat…twenty minutes ago" Mary smirked. Lily laughed, knowing that the two more than likely weren't even at the party anymore.

"What do you think Sirius sees in her?" Mary asked her suddenly.

"Alice?" Lily asked, startled.

"No, you idiot, the girl he's snogging" she replied, gesturing. And sure enough, Sirius was kissing a girl from Ravenclaw, Gwenog something.

"I…guess she's good at Quidditch. Gives them something to talk about I suppose"

"They don't seem to talk much" Mary said sourly, "I know about Quidditch, anyway. I mean, I'll bet you can't find a thing I _don't_ know about the Wimbourne Wasps, and my brother is a stand-in for Puddlemere United. If its sports-talk he wants, he could've had me" she continued.

"I'm not sure what she has" Lily said softly.

"I bet he thinks she's prettier than me" she sniffed.

"Mary, have you seen you? You're gorgeous!"

"Well _you_ would say that. Just…just forget it, okay. He's just…forget it" she replied sullenly, "I'm going to go see if I can't get my hands on some Firewhisky"

"Oh, they're only letting students above seventeen have that"

"Well if I'm so _gorgeous _then it shouldn't be so hard to get somebody to get me one"

And she left. Lily supposed that now was as good a time as ever to try to find James. She strode across the party toward Sirius.

"Oh, hi Sirius! Could I ask you a question?" Lily said loudly and pointedly once she'd reached the happy couple. They broke apart, and Gwenog looked affronted, but Sirius seemed relaxed. He cocked his head.

"I need to know where James is" she said sweetly.

"I'm pretty sure he's around here somewhere. I mean, we came in together. Try over by the stuffed mushrooms. He could eat those for days"

"Sometimes I wished you loved me as much as you love him" Gwenog said, clearly joking, trying to turn his attention back to her.

"Oh, Gwennie," Sirius said in a melt-your-heart, tender as it gets tone, "don't be silly. I'd _never_ like you that much" he finished, tapping the edge of her nose. She scoffed, and twisted out of his arms, and stormed off.

"Good one, Padfoot. You have a real way with the ladiessss"

"She was starting to get on my nerves anyway, spouting stuff off about dating and boyfriends and commitment. I'll leave all that stuff to James"

"You are _so_ attractive to me right now" Lily replied, her voice positively dripping with sarcasm. Sirius laughed.

"Thanks with the tip, Sirius. I'll be seeing you"

Sure enough, James was standing near the table with the stuffed mushrooms, glass of champagne in hand, and talking to a man who looked like a lion. She sidled up beside James, and he started. He glanced at her for a moment, and sighed. He continued listening to the man talk like nothing happened.

"Well, it's like I was saying, Nogtails are just a blight to the farming areas around Norfolk. I usually go hunting around up there about twice a year. If you and your father would like to join us it would be a pleasure, Potter. Just make sure and bring a white dog; they're the only things that fend 'em off" the man was saying.

"I'll make sure and relay that to my father, Mister Scrimgeour" James said politely, "and I'd like to introduce you to Lily Evans, she's a classmate of mine here at school".

She was stung by the word _classmate_, but she shook the man's hand anyway.

"And Lily, this is Rufus Scrimgeour, Head of the Auror Office"

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mister Scrimgeour. I'm very interested in becoming an Auror after Hogwarts, is there any way you could tell me what it's like?"

"I could send you our updated pamphlet; it's got all the latest information on the Office"

"That would be lovely, thank you"

There was a short silence.

"Well, Potter, I'll leave you and your lady-friend. Have a wonderful night, Miss Evans" Scrimgeour said eventually, shaking James' hand and kissing Lily's. And he turned at walked away a bit until he ran into none other than Braxton. She saw him, and turned around quickly. She grabbed James' arm and dragged him a short distance away. She took it as a good sign that he didn't jerk away from her.

She took them to a corner of the party where nobody was really paying them any mind. Lily looked up at James, and he looked down at her evenly.

"Please start talking to me again" she asked him bluntly.

"Why should I? Do you need an excuse to start dating somebody else?"

"You know that's not why" she snapped.

"Then why?"

"Because…because I miss you! It sucks not having you around constantly not bugging me and constantly not cracking jokes. I hate that you're angry with me, and…and I really like you" she muttered.

"And you like Braxton"

"No, I don't"

"Well that's what you told me"

"I said it was _different_…aw, James, but it's not like that anymore! I got Braxton off my back and it was for a reason. If there was any remote chance that I would have preferred him over you, do you think I would have called him an arrogant pig in front of the whole House?"

James stifled a laugh.

"James. I like you. I want to see where this goes" she said quietly, taking a shy step toward him, ignoring the blood that was rushing to her face. He touched his finger to her cheek.

"You're blushing, Evans"

"So are you, Potter"

They were close, much too close for this situation to be normal. James took a deep breath, and his breath caressed her face. His hand slid from her face to her waist, pulling her a bit closer. She wrapped an arm up to rest on his shoulder. Lily felt her eyes begin to close when she didn't remember giving them any instruction to do so. She felt James' body heat on her face; his lips just barely brush against hers…

"Hey guys! How's it going?" asked a loud voice, making them both jump away from each other.

It was Sirius. He was beaming at Lily, but she could see the smirk that lay underneath.

"Sirius" James said, trying in vain to hide the irritation seeping from his every pore.

"I just thought you'd like to know that Healer Smethwyck just arrived"

"And you thought I'd like to know _now_?"

"Sorry, mate"

James sighed, and turned back to Lily. Sirius was still staring at them, so he swiftly kissed her cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked her.

"Uh, yeah, sure" she answered, slightly breathless, her heart still pounding away in her chest.

James smiled at her, and turned to go find this healer whom he was looking for. Lily turned on Sirius with a scandalized look on her face.

"Sucks, doesn't it?" he laughed. Lily wanted to laugh and throw something at him at the same time. She threw him a sneer, and he turned and went on his way.

Lily looked around the party for a little while longer, but not finding anybody of real interest to talk to. She found Mary, however, chatting with a seventh-year boy, Firewhiskey in hand. She introduced the boy she was talking to, Dirk Cresswell, and told Lily that she'd meet up with her later on in the dormitory. Lily agreed, and left the party.

On the way back to the Fat Lady, Lily's head spun slightly. Maybe she'd had one glass of champagne too many. Half-way to the Gryffindor Tower, she heard footsteps following her rapidly. She turned around to greet Mary, who must have followed her up after all.

But it wasn't Mary. Lily's heart jumped to her throat, and her hand balled up into fists. Then she recognized who it was, and relaxed. Braxton wouldn't hurt her, she thought, feeling silly for her reaction. But there was something different about Braxton; he was swaying slightly, and his face was red as a tomato. He had a bottle of mead still in his hand.

"Braxton?"

"I knew you liked Potter" he slurred.

"Uhm, I'm sorry?" pretending she hadn't heard.

"Potter! I knew you had a thing for him! Don't pretend like I didn't see what you did back there"

"Errr…so what? It's not like it's any of your business" she replied uncomfortably.

"It _IS MY BUSINESS_. It sure as hell is my business what…what MY girlfriend does" he yelled at her.

"I don't know what you got that idea, _McLaggen_, but I'm _not _your girlfriend" she said acidly, and turned to leave.

"Don't you call me that!" he yelled, grabbing her by the wrist. He swung her back toward him, but missed. He slammed her into the wall, and Lily's head swirled; her head had struck the brick. She started to slide down the wall when Braxton pinned her back up.

"Don't call me that, you call _Potter_ by surname, not me, not me" he tried to croon, but it came out a jumbled mess. She tried to inch away, but he held her tighter. She reached for her wand, and then panicked; she hadn't brought it to the party. After all, where was she supposed to keep it?

She thrashed against Braxton, trying to scream, but instead of letting her go, he rammed his face into hers again, quieting her; she heard the bottle of mead he'd been carrying crash to the floor and break. She moved her hands up to try to pry his face away from hers, but that just made him more tenacious. He moved his lips to her neck for a moment, and she took in a great breath. She thrust her knee upward, and struck home.

Braxton backed away from her, clutching his manhood. Lily tried to catch her breath and move away at the same time.

"You bitch" Braxton moaned. He took a swipe at her, but wasn't aiming very well. The punch caught Lily's shoulder, and knocked her over. Her knees landed first, and she cried out in pain; she'd landed in the pile of broken glass. She looked at her hands, which were slowly oozing, and then at the floor, where blood was steadily pooling. She turned to Braxton to see if he was still in pain, but he wasn't.

He took her hands, and pulled her toward him. Her cut up knees scratched the stone floor, and she cried out.

"You like me, Lily. You said you did, you're my date…_my date_ to Hogsmeade, _my_ girlfriend"

And he tried to assault her lips again.

Then something odd happened. He let out a small moan, and fell into Lily. She had not been expecting this, so when he fell into her she collapsed under him. She felt a sharp pain in the back of her head, but immediately tried to get away from Braxton. She pushed him away with surprisingly little resistance, and slipped hurriedly from under him. She turned to get up and run, but noticed that he wasn't moving.

"B-Braxton?" she asked, trying to get up still with her knees and hands bloodied up.

A figure emerged from the shadow, looking positively furious. Lily had never been so happy to see James Potter before now. But he was the angriest that she'd ever seen him. He strode toward her, his wand pointed at McLaggen the whole time. As he passed him, he gave him a savage kick. Upon seeing Lily, however, his expression softened to a worried look.

Lily couldn't help the tears that escaped as James knelt down and pulled her into a hug.

He pocketed his wand and picked her up.

"Let's get you to the Hospital Wing" he murmured.


	10. You Know How I Get Around

"Really, Ma'am, I'm fine"

"You're not fine until I say you're fine, now lay back"

Lily sighed, and acquiesced. Last night had been quite the ordeal. She'd never thought that McLaggen would ever harm her – ever. When she met him in the corridor, she'd relaxed. She should have run. But all in all, she was lucky. James had shown up, and rescued her.

He'd waited with her in the Hospital Wing until he fell asleep where he was sitting and slumped over off of his chair. Madam Pomfrey then woke him up and practically forced him out the door. Lily's cuts were healed in a matter of minutes, and it turned out that she'd actually gotten a bone-bruise from falling out of bed earlier in the week. She was physically sorted out in less than five minutes, but the emotional strain took longer to get a handle on.

Madam Pomfrey had let James stay so long only because he calmed Lily. When McLaggen was brought in (still unconscious) and restrained to the bed they put him in, Lily nearly ran out of the Hospital Wing. It was James who nearly pinned her to her bed, whispering comforting things. She clung to him, not really being soothed by his words so much as his presence. He convinced her to eventually take a Calming Draught, and she immediately felt the effects. Then it was her turn to be there for James.

Every time he would glance over at McLaggen's bed, his hands would start shaking. Lily hadn't noticed this until he took hold of his wand, and accidentally made it snow. She took his hand in both of hers, and kissed it. He looked at her, and clenched his teeth. He explained how he'd seen McLaggen tear out of the party as soon as she'd left, and he'd gotten suspicious. He excused himself from the party to follow McLaggen, but got there a little late. He wouldn't stop apologizing the entire night.

When James had been forced out of the Hospital Wing, Lily felt free to sleep. She was given a Potion that put her out almost instantly, and woke up the next morning feeling rested from an uninterrupted sleep. Madam Pomfrey was now examining her, but Lily felt physically fine. McLaggen had been blocked from view with curtains surrounding his bed. Lily was grateful for that at least.

When the check-up was complete, she was given breakfast and made to eat all of it before she could officially leave the ward. When she finished the last drop of milk, Madam Pomfrey gave her Hestia's dress back, and some of her own robes, which had been pressed.

"I had some House-Elves bring your own clothes down from your dormitory. I didn't suppose you'd want to walk about the school dressed in the hospital gown or the dress from last night, ruined as it is" Madam Pomfrey told her conversationally.

"The dress is ruined?" Lily asked frantically, unfolding it. And sure enough it had a large rip near the hem and blood stains down it. The shimmering effect looked quite lackluster.

"Hestia's going to kill me" she whimpered.

"Well if she's got her head on straight she'll forgive you for it" Madam Pomfrey replied with an air of impatience.

Lily finished dressing, when Madam Pomfrey took the dress and gown out of her hands, and set them on the bed. She placed her hands on Lily's shoulders, and positioned her so that they were eye-to-eye.

"Evans, I'm sorry about last night. Now if you ever feel the need to come down and unwind, don't hesitate to come back for a Calming Draught. If you ever feel threatened by McLaggen again, be sure and alert your Head Boy or Girl, or a teacher immediately. I want you to know that McLaggen was highly intoxicated last night; I don't know _how_ many times I've told Slughorn to not include alcohol in his _parties_…but Mr. McLaggen was also under the influence of pipe weed. Do you know what that is?"

"No" Lily answered truthfully.

"It's a drug, Lily. It's a powerful stimulant that increases aggression and decreases brain function. It's dangerous. If you see any pipe weed, or anybody using it, please alert a professor at once" Madam Pomfrey urged.

"I'm a prefect, Madam Pomfrey. Of course I will. Is it on the list of banned things?"

"It's illegal. Not just in Hogwarts, in the Wizarding World"

"I'll make sure to keep an eye on it" Lily muttered.

"It smells like mint, and the smoke is blue" Madam Pomfrey reiterated.

"Yes, ma'am"

"You may go" she said, dismissing Lily. And Lily was glad to leave.

She walked through the doors and found the Marauders and her friends waiting for her. James was still wearing the clothes he wore the night before. Secretly, Lily swooned. He hadn't even left her to _change_? Lily gave him her sweetest smile.

Alice and Mary ran up to her and enveloped her in hugs, and immediately began stripping McLaggen of all the dignity he possessed. Clearly, they had heard what happened. After her friends and Remus and Peter gave her some room to breathe, Sirius meandered up to her with his eyes bloodshot and his hair even more tousled than usual. He gave her a hug, which surprised her, but she could tell that he was majorly hung-over.

"How are you doing, Padfoot?" she giggled.

"Well, Lily, you might have to check and see whether the dungeon is still there or not. I might have drank it"

"How are _you_, Lily? Are you okay? Are you sure you should be leaving the Hospital Wing?" James asked her, hurrying forward.

"I'm fine. Thanks to you" she smiled at him again, and walked toward him to hug him. He caught her and wrapped his frame around hers. She had to resist sighing in contentment. When they pulled apart, Lily noticed barely-concealed smirks on Alice, Sirius and Mary's faces. She had to hide one of her own.

"Thanks for coming down to see me, but I think I'm going to go change…which isn't illegal, by the way" she teased, looking at James. He smiled sheepishly, and ran his hand through his hair. James grabbed her hand, and the group walked back to the Gryffindor Tower together, intermingling.

"I still can't believe McLaggen…I mean, what if he did more than just kiss you?" Alice asked disgustedly once the girls had reached their dormitory.

"I don't know if he would have" Lily said absentmindedly. Pretending to think that he would never have forced more than that of her was easier to comprehend, and easier to get over.

"But what if he would have? What if that was like, his plan?" asked Mary.

"But he didn't"

"Because James beat his ass" Alice muttered.

"Cheers to that" Mary responded.

"So, James asked me last night if I would see him today…do you think he was asking me to Hogsmeade?"

"Probably"

"Yeah, and in any case, after what happened last night, James is going to stick to you like a brand new pack of wart plasters"

Lily nodded, but couldn't help but feel nervous anyhow. Would this be like…a date?

"Holy crow, what should I wear?"

Her friends laughed, and helped her assemble and outfit.

Around thirty minutes later, Lily left the dormitory feeling confident. She looked quite striking (if she did say so herself), and hopefully fully recovered. She walked down the staircase, trying her hardest to seem graceful and definitely okay. She glanced around for James, wondering where he'd be waiting for her.

But the common-room was practically empty, filled only with second and first years.

Lily's heart plummeted, but she strained to not let that show. She half-turned to Alice and Mary, and gestured them forward; she caught the looks of apprehension that they were exchanging.

"Let's just go" she muttered, shrugging.

She couldn't help but feel surprised and a little hurt that James wasn't waiting for her. Wasn't he really concerned about her, or was that just until he found out that she was going to be fine? But what if he wasn't really over her and McLaggen? What if he was still angry with her, and she had just cornered him last night, and he almost kissed her out of instinct? What if –

But Lily never got to finish her thought. Half-way out of the portrait-hole, she'd run into somebody carrying food, and was now sprawled on the floor, covered in breakfast goods. She scoffed, and angrily looked up at the culprit who hadn't been looking where they were going (not the she had been, either…) and her anger instantly seeped away.

It was James, just as covered in food as she was. There was a moment where neither of them knew what to say.

"I…I thought you might be hungry"

Lily couldn't stop her mouth in time; it fell open, and then fell into a smile. She jumped up, and ignoring the fact that they were both covered in everything from cereal to pumpkin juice, she hugged him. He returned the hug, gladly, but then held her at arms' length.

He pulled out his wand, and began siphoning the liquids and crumbs and things that stuck to both of them.

"So, _are_ you hungry?" he asked her when both of their outfits were good as new.

"No, Madam Pomfrey made me eat before I left the Hospital Wing"

"Oh, that's good, then"

"Yeah…"

And they sat there in an awkward silence.

"Hey, Lily, Mary and I will meet you at the Three Broomsticks…later on" she smirked as she dragged Mary out of the portrait-hole by the elbow. And this left James and Lily alone.

"Thanks for getting me breakfast, even if I did put it all over the floor. That was really…sweet of you"

"Well, I do what I can" he replied, smiling.

And again, neither of them knew what to say. Lily's frustration was growing; she wanted to go to Hogsmeade with James, but he wasn't making any move to ask her. Hadn't he implied that he wanted to go with her yesterday, or was he just asking if he would see her today?

And what if he still wasn't over the McLaggen thing?

And that thought was Lily's tipping point; something in her brain snapped from the strain of the straight week it had been on edge. She didn't_ care_ if James wasn't 'over' the McLaggen thing or not; he was _going _to get over it, dammit, because he didn't work so hard to get her for so long to give up now; _especially_ not now that she was crazy about him too. Oh _hell_ no.

Lily grabbed his hand. He looked moderately surprised, but Lily didn't give him time to react.

"Where do you want to go today? That new place, Zonko's Joke Shop, is supposed to be pretty cool"

"Y-yeah, sounds fun" he agreed, smiling. He seemed to have a thought, however, and his smile vanished. "Unless you want to go with your friends…"

"What? Nah. If I wanted to go with them I would have" she replied simply.

And he smiled again.

It was only a little while later that they were standing in the middle of High Street, being gawked at by a few Hogwarts students coming out of Schrivenschaft's. Lily felt a blush slide over her face, but concentrated only on the conversation she and James were having. He seemed to have noticed the on-lookers as well, for he stood up a little straighter, and he stepped between Lily and the gossips slightly.

"Er..so where d'you want to go?" he asked her. She looked around, as if there was going to be some sort of sign that would tell her where she could go that would ensure that they would have a good time.

"Three Broomsticks?"

"Sounds good to me" he answered, sounding relieved. She supposed he was relieved because she had not suggested Madam Puddifoot's. She felt like she could blush at just the thought of sharing one of those cozy tables, sipping coffee with James being surrounded by snogging couples. She didn't think they were quite ready for that level of discomfort.

They managed to grab two seats by the bar, which was a first for Lily. Usually she had to settle for a seat below the staircase or beside the restrooms, crowded as the place always is.

Madam Rosmerta came sidling up to where they were sitting only a moment after they'd sat down. She smiled at James, completely ignoring Lily. She found that this annoyed her, but also gave her a feeling of deep satisfaction she couldn't quite figure out.

"Good to see you again, James! Not with Sirius today, I see" she said, looking at Lily for the first time.

"No, I'm on a date today" he replied, grabbing Lily's hand. Lily's heart sped up to about a hundred miles an hour; he'd said _date_. With his next sentence he introduced Lily to Rosmerta formally, and asked for two butterbeers; Madam Rosmerta walked away to get them with a slightly miffed air.

"First name basis, huh?" she asked him, teasing.

"You know how I get around" he lightly joked back.

"Well you must be top-dollar to have our drinks getting here so fast" Lily said as their drinks arrived.

"Well…"

"James!" she laughed, elbowing him slightly. But he caught her elbow, and spun her around on her stool so that they were facing each other. The next thing Lily knew was that they were kissing.

The kiss naturally ended, and Lily's face was on fire; much to her surprise, so was James'. He took a long breath in, a leaned his forehead against hers. Lily began to feel slightly embarrassed by the PDA, so she leaned back, but made sure to scoot her stool so close to his that they were touching. He intertwined their arms so that they were holding hands, and Lily started massaging his hand with her thumb. And then they talked over their butterbeers like nothing had happened.

Mary and Alice came in an hour or so afterward, surprisingly accompanied by Sirius and Remus. Lily and James gave up their spot to meander over to a larger table with their friends. Lily noticed that Peter was absent, but didn't ask; she didn't think they knew, either.

After The Three Broomsticks, James took her to Honeydukes, and they poked around for a little while. Lily had a fine time talking about sweets with James, which turned out to be something he was avid about. After they had left the shop, James told her he forgot something, and doubled back. Lily thought that this was rather odd, seeing as he hadn't really brought in anything to leave behind. Upon going back into the shop to look for him, she found James at the till, having purchased everything she'd told him she took a fancy to. She hit him with the bag.

Regrettably, though, the date had to end sometime. Lily still relished that he had said that it _was_ a date. The two talked about Quidditch peaceably up until about half-way to the Gryffindor Tower. James was in the middle of telling her about why wizards don't use Golden Snidgets anymore when they heard a piercing cry ring through the hall. They both faltered, and exchanged curious glances. And at the same time, they set off to find the source.

And it was completely unexpected.

Lily and James rounded the corner to the deserted hallway, and found none other than Severus Snape brutally dueling with a wandless McLaggen. Snape was yelling indiscriminate things at him between curses, and with each spell, McLaggen became more and more incapable of regular speech.

Lily and James stared for a second, stunned. But it was when Snape let loose a spell Lily didn't know, 'Sectum Sempra', and McLaggen began pouring blood from his torso, that Lily sprang into action. She jumped from James and over the bloody, weeping McLaggen, and tackled Snape to the ground. Forgetting magic, she tried to physically wrest Snape's wand from him. He put up a fight, however, and it ended up where Lily was pushed to the side. She swiped her own wand from her pocket, and tensed in a dueling stance. She noticed James was still standing where she'd left him. He was casually withdrawing his wand as Snape turned to Lily, but did nothing more.

"You're…you're going to _defend_ him?" Snape asked her, venom and hurt leaking from his voice.

"Look what you've done to him! He'll be lucky if Madam Pomfrey _ever _sorts him out!"

"All the better for what he did to you!"

Lily had half-expected that he knew (why else would he be dueling McLaggen?), but to have it confirmed was hard to swallow. She'd been assuming that nobody knew but her and her friends.

"Who told you that?" she asked throatily.

"Who cares how I know?" he asked as he strode toward her, reaching a hand out to her, wand at his side, "It's true. And he doesn't deserve to ever be able to lay eyes on you again"

"So what?" she asked, disgusted, "You were just going to 'take care of it'? Make sure that he got what was coming to him?"

"So you could be safe again…"

"'_So I could be safe' _my ass! You did this for you"

And with that she turned and walked past James, who turned and followed her.

"Where are you going?" Snape called after her.

"I'm going to Madam Pomfrey to have him picked up" she called over her shoulder. She started to continue walking, but then a thought struck her, and she slowed. She turned to face a thoroughly distressed Snape.

"Why would you care about what happened to me, anyway?" she asked him point blank.

Her question seemed to shock him. After the initial surprise, though, he clamped his jaw shut and looked at the ground, avoiding her gaze.

"Why wouldn't I?" he murmured. Lily looked at him curiously for a moment, before feeling James grab her hand and pull her gently toward him. He breathed something in her ear that sounded remarkably like, 'told you so' before he pulled her away from Snape and toward the Hospital Wing.


	11. Picturing That Tree, Are You?

Sorry I've been lagging with updates, between school and work and all I just can't seem to find a bunch of time to write. I know, excuses, excuses... Later on in the chapter is a note, and it's really upsetting that it's not letting me use the fonts I had picked out...but oh well. Enjoy!

* * *

"Professor Vector, I'm so sorry I'm…late…" Lily said in a rushed voice as she ambled into the classroom seven minutes late for her first detention ever. James had kissed her forehead goodbye outside the Hospital Wing as McLaggen had arrived, much worse for wear. James had promised to stay only until Madam Pomfrey saw to him, and nothing more.

Lily looked at who she was serving her detention with, and felt stupid for being surprised; she couldn't have been the only one in Hogwarts to have gotten a detention this week. She slowed, and walked hesitantly toward Severus Snape as his eyes burned holes through her.

"That's quite alright, Miss Evans. The Headmaster has already informed me of your tardiness," she said, waving a note in the air, "but this does mean that you both will spend some extra time here"

"Both?"

"Well Mr. Snape was late, too"

"I'll bet he was" Lily grumbled.

"I'm sorry?" Professor asked her.

"That's sad he was" Lily replied, pulling another sentence out of thin air.

"Well…yes, I suppose…anyway, your assignment is to grade these third year homework papers…I have some cheat sheets here for you somewhere…Oh, Miss Evans, I would like you to sit together, please…easier to keep an eye on you…"

Lily inwardly used some of her choiciest swear words. She'd been making her way toward the opposite end of the classroom, but apparently she was paying for the wonderful afternoon she'd had with James with what was sure to be a horrific evening with Snivellus.

She trudged over and slumped down in her seat as Professor Vector dropped off the homework and the cheat sheets. Lily reached forward to grab some off the top of the stack at the same time Snape did, and their fingers touched. Snape yanked his hands away from hers, his face plunging into a puce color. Lily rolled her eyes, and grabbed some papers with unnecessary force. For the first thirty minutes or so, Lily stared only at the paper she had in front of her, refusing to even acknowledge Snape's presence.

Unfortunately, he just wasn't going to have any of that.

Lily only noticed that he was trying to get her attention when he kicked her lightly. She snapped up, ready to tell him where he could put his foot instead, when he nodded to a piece of parchment he'd scooted toward her. She snatched it up, and read it quickly. It read:

**I'm sorry**

She scoffed, and wrote back:

No, you're not. Please, don't even act like you are.  
**But I AM sorry!  
**You mean 'not'  
**Lily, stop. You know I wouldn't apologize if I didn't mean it  
**There's nothing I 'know' about you anymore.  
**Okay, so I was angry. Can you blame me?  
**Not really, (though I am unsure WHY you're angry in the first place) but you didn't have to curse him into retardation! That last curse was pure Dark Magic; that's a little beyond 'angry'  
**You mean you really aren't angry with him for what he did to you?  
**Whether I'm angry or not doesn't justify you being a complete snotrag.  
**I bet if precious **_**Potter**_** had cursed him you wouldn't be angry…  
**Oh my God, will you get off Potter?  
**Only if you will  
**You're an asshole, you know that?  
**Just please tell me that you'll forgive me  
**Why should I? I'm sure what you did back there will impress quite a few of your Death Eater pals. What, so it was a win-win? Win me over AND show your dearest mates how truly evil you really are! What a glorious day for Snivellus.  
**That wasn't why I did it.  
**There isn't another good reason for you to have done it. You came just short of torture out of what? Your kind-heartedness? What a laugh.  
**You wouldn't believe me if I told you  
**Probably not, but why don't you give it a go?  
**Because if there is anybody in this world that is worth protecting, it's you.****  
**I can protect myself, thanks  
**Obviously not  
****Oh ha ha.** Lucky for me, James got there in time anyway. And if I'd had my wand you know I wouldn't have needed him.  
**Please tell me you're not actually dating him. He's just a toe-rag, Lily. He's not good enough for you.  
**Oh, but you are?  
**I never said that  
**And you shouldn't. I don't date Death Eaters.  
**No offense, but they probably wouldn't date you either, considering your birth and all…  
**Very funny. Why don't you go slip into something more comfortable, like a coma?  
**That was a joke!  
**I know. And coming from somebody who isn't a Death Eater, it might have been funny.  
**I'm not a Death Eater  
**Oh, I forgot. You have to be out of school, right? So I guess you're waiting for your big send-off into You-Know-Who's ranks so you never have to go back to Spinner's End. Well good luck in all of your endeavors, _Tobias_.  
**What's that supposed to mean?****  
**Like father like son, right? He made you miserable for your entire life, and now you're making it your life's purpose to do the same to others.  
**You wouldn't understand**  
Well, I suppose I wouldn't, being decent and all. Look, this is all beside the point anyway, I'm not going to get into the same old arguments with you. What happened to me is none of your business. Whether or not James and I are dating is none of your business. Just drop both subjects; neither of them involve you.  
**I miss you, Lily**  
Well then I'm sorry  
**No you're not  
**It's your own fault  
**I know.  
**Who told you about McLaggen?  
**Why should I tell you?  
**Well, I did ask politely  
**Peter Pettigrew**

Lily stared at the two words that Snape had just scrawled. She was dumbfounded. She looked at Snape with suspicion heavy in her eyes. He held up his hand with only his pinky up; he was pinky-promising her he wasn't lying. She made an ugly face, and crumpled the paper up before tossing it in her bag.

She's taught Snape the muggle-tradition of a pinky-promise as a joke, but it had become something that they used frequently, when they'd been friends. She didn't appreciate the reminder.

When the detention was over, she sped out of the room, keen to not be followed by Snape, who she had no intention of talking to. Unfortunately for Lily though, they were both headed in the same direction. What she wouldn't have given to borrow James' strange map…

"Lily" he called after her once they were a safe distance from the classroom, and Professor Vector's ears. She kept walking, hoping he would get the hint.

He didn't.

"Lily!" he called after her a little more urgently. She heard hurried footsteps behind her, and ducked out of the way just in time, her hand flying to her wand. Snape however, who had obviously been trying to catch up to her, tripped over his robes, barreled over and slid a few feet on the floor before coming to an embarrassing halt, sprawled out on the floor. It was a split second before he got up.

"Don't call me that" she told him, authority ringing in her voice.

"Don't call you what?" he panted.

"Lily. You don't get to call me that anymore" she spat out.

"You can't tell me what I can and can't call you"

"Okay _Snivellus_. Have it your way" Lily said, trying to make an exit.

"I want to talk to you" Snape stated, following her anyway.

"Well if it's not blatantly obvious yet, I _don't_ want to talk to you"

"Why? Why don't you want to talk to me?"

Lily rounded on him.

"Really? Why? Shall I name off the reasons or do you need a visual aid?"

"I get it, I've done some things you don't agree with and I've insulted you, but if you knew how sorry I really was then - " he started, his voice on the verge of breaking.

"Then what? My feelings wouldn't matter anymore? I'd suddenly forget all the hurt you've caused me this past year and just forgive you because you deserve it? Fat chance, Snape. It sucks that you miss me and all that, but like I said. It's your own fault. Go talk to precious Muliciber about it"

"I could never talk to them like I talk to you. You don't _understand_! I never had a choice…"

"You always had a choice" Lily growled before turning and sprinting off. She didn't care if he tried to follow her; she wasn't stopping until she got to the Gryffindor Tower. After a moment or so, Lily realized that she was alone, and she slowed to a walk. Lily was instantly relieved, but that only lasted for a second. Plunging guilt flooded through her as she thought of Snape left alone in the deserted corridor. It tore at her heartstrings to leave her childhood friend like that, even if he had deserved it. She hated treating her ex-best friend that way, but it wasn't like she missed him like she did before. Alice had stepped up valiantly to fulfill the spot that Snape had once occupied, and the emotional wounds that came from his perfidy had long since vanished.

She realized that she pitied Snape. She knew what kind of home he grew up in, and the expectations he had to fulfill both at home and in the Slytherin House. She always knew how hard it would have been for Snape to deal with his House-mates had he defied their ways only to team up with the other side, but that didn't change the fact that it was the right thing to do…

"Password?"

Lily jumped, and looked up at the Fat Lady in surprise. She hadn't realized that she'd gotten all the way to the Tower already.

"Password?" the Fat Lady asked again, a little more impatiently this time.

Lily gave her the password, and ambled in to the common room. She saw her friends and the Marauders minus Peter sitting by the fireplace; she was glad that Peter wasn't amongst them. She didn't really believe Snape's accusation, but if Peter were here she would have probably grilled him about it anyway, considering the mood she was in. She made her way toward them, and when she saw James, the guilt she felt about her old best friend and all the anger it brought with it seeped away and a warm feeling took its place. They'd had their first date today…

She sat down on the arm of James' chair and smiled at him. He shot her a winning grin and pulled her face down to kiss him. She obliged, but then the awkward position made her sit back up. She rested her arm over his shoulders instead.

"So how was your first detention?" James asked her smugly.

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be…but guess who my detention partner was?" she finished sourly.

"Who?" Sirius and Mary asked at the same time. Lily couldn't help but notice that Mary blushed and turned her gaze to the carpet. This didn't escape Sirius, either.

"Snape" she replied shortly. James' dashing smile turned to ice in an instant, and Lily felt the arm he had curled around her waist clutch her tighter.

"Did he do anything to you?" James asked almost immediately.

"No. He just tried to talk to me…and you might be right about him, James. At least partly so" she said thoughtfully. She looked up and noticed everybody looking at her with varying degrees of shock on their face.

"What?" she asked uncertainly.

"Somebody take note of what she just said. Lily Evans just told James Potter that he was right" Sirius play-gawked. Lily snorted.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. But seriously," she said, turned to face James, "I think part of him likes me"

"Anybody could have told you _that_" Sirius said loudly.

"Well I don't know…should I say something to him about it? I mean…what should I _do_?" Lily asked them all.

"You have to consider your options Lily," Alice told her matter-of-factly. "I mean come on. He's as interesting as a bowl of cornflakes and _at least_ as sexy"

"But you can't forget to look at the downsides too," giggled Mary, playing along, "He's so greasy that his face is like, a no-go area. It'd be like kissing the Berlin Wall"

Lily couldn't help but laugh with the others. What they were saying was strictly true, but they weren't complete lies, either.

"You know what I mean," Lily laughed, "But think about it. How depressing would it be if he just liked me this whole time?"

"He _has_ liked you this whole time" James interjected, while Remus and Sirius nodded.

"I don't think so" Lily mused. James caught a look from Remus, and rolled his eyes.

"So, did anybody catch the Magpies game over the wireless? I'm afraid I forgot to tune in…" Lily changed the subject blatantly. After a seconds' silence, James started to recap the game for her, and conversation flowed elsewhere.

The Marauders and Lily's friends talked until they were very nearly the last people in the common room. Lily glanced out of the window to the grounds, and noticed that the moon was at the highest point in the sky.

"It's getting pretty late. I think I'm going to head off to bed" Lily interrupted. Sirius and Mary had been having a fiery debate about House Elves, with the rest listening intently, occasionally throwing in their own input. Interesting as the argument was, Lily was tired, and wanted to rest before the next mornings' classes.

James stood up, and wrapped her in a hug, and gave her a brief and almost hesitant kiss on the forehead before handing her the bag of sweets she'd forgotten in the hall earlier. Lily took it and squeezed his hand, and left up the stairs to her dormitory. She closed the door and smiled. It had been a very interesting Sunday, this was for sure. Between a date with James and two very disturbing incidences with Snape, she was beginning to think that if she ever actually dated Potter she'd never have a normal day again.

She started changing into her nightclothes, thinking about when she and James would make it official (a light panic came over her as she thought about it) when she heard the door open and close softly. She turned to see which or her roommates it was, but it wasn't a roommate. It was Patricia Patil.

"Err, hi Patricia"

"Lily" she acknowledged.

"What can I do for you? Do you need a brush or something?" Lily asked, wondering why Patricia was in her room, and why on Earth she hadn't knocked.

"No, I actually need you to lay off of James"

"E-excuse me?" Lily asked.

"You heard me. Stop doing whatever you're doing with James" she reiterated. After a moment's thought, she added, "Please".

"First off, he kind of started it" Lily laughed, "And second off…no"

"Okay Lily, I'm going to be straight with you. I really like James, and I think there is something between us. I'd like you to lay off so I can have a chance"

"You think there's something between you?" Lily repeated, unable to keep the derision out of her voice.

"Don't say it like that! And yes, I do. I mean, have you seen us in History of Magic? We're like, totally in sync"

"Have you seen us in…well, everywhere? We're like, totally into each other" Lily mocked. She couldn't help but tease Patricia; a large wave of defensiveness welled up way past its boundaries and overcame her. How could this girl be so deluded? James had only been asking her out for about forever. Patricia's hopeful expression settled into a glare.

"We'll see" Patricia simpered.

"I bet we will" Lily countered.

And on that note, Patricia whirled out of the door of the dormitory, slamming it. Lily slid her feet into her slippers, thinking. While it was true that he had flirted with Patricia in History of Magic, he couldn't actually like her.

But at that point, hadn't he been not talking to her? Wouldn't it make sense for him to talk to the next girl he liked? Or was he just trying to make her jealous? Did he like Patricia? He couldn't like her like he liked Lily, but maybe he felt something towards her? Suddenly, Lily thought of James, sitting downstairs in the common room with an extremely delusional Patricia Patil. She jumped up from where she'd been sitting and practically tore downstairs.

And sure enough, Patricia was sitting on James' armchair, and James looked heartily uncomfortable huddled on the other side of the chair. The Marauders and her friends looked confused, as did James. When James caught sight of her, she saw the relief break across his face. He hopped up off of the chair to meet her, leaving Patricia to fall off of the arm of the chair and into the cushions. She glared at Lily murderously.

"Hi Lily! I thought you were tired" he said, his statement sounding like a question but sounding pleased nonetheless.

"I was…but then I decided that I'd rather come down and spend some time with you" she replied, glaring at Patricia as she said it; out of the corner of her eye, she saw James cottoning on to why she was really here. Patricia's expression was cold as ice. James started to say something, but he was interrupted.

"Well then James, I think I'll just go to bed. I guess I'll see you tomorrow" Patricia said as she got up off of the armchair, holding her arms out for a hug. James extracted himself from Lily, and hugged Patricia reluctantly. She locked onto him like a vice grip and didn't let go for six seconds; Lily counted. After the hug, she flounced off toward her dormitory.

"Wow" Mary said once she was out of earshot.

"Seriously" Sirius responded. James shook himself, and threw himself back into his chair. Lily leaned on the back.

"Look like you have some competition, Lily" Alice laughed, "And _man_, is she serious"

"I guess I do" Lily said, teasing James.

"Oh, come on Lily, she's got nothing on you" James said as he turned to look at her. "You're in a completely different league"

"A completely different_ sport_" chimed in Remus.

"Yeah. Girls like you don't grow on trees" James said, meaning to compliment her. Then his face went slightly blank and he stared at the air-space above the fireplace for a moment.

"Picturing that tree, are you?" Sirius laughed.

"Yes, yes I am" James answered lightly and jokingly. And with that James reached up and grabbed her hand. Lily felt instantly better, and was surprised that she flew into such a jealous mood so quickly. James obviously preferred her. She felt silly. She smiled at James, and announced that she was going back to bed. She leaned in to kiss James' cheek, but he swiveled around and caught her lips with his.

As she crawled underneath the covers, she smiled. Patricia Patil could bring it on.


	12. And Then You Pitched A Tent

Thank you all SO MUCH for waiting! I'll try to be a little better with the updates from now on. I literally rewrote this chapter seven times; I couldn't make it fit in right until this last time. Enjoy, and thanks again for the patience! 3 Annie

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Lily opened her eyes slowly. Mellow sunlight was creeping in through the window above her bed, and she could hear an owl hooting in the distance. She stretched languidly, and sighed. There had been many ups and downs to the weekend, all things considered, but it could have turned out a lot worse. Lily looked at her bedside clock and realized that she had awoken a full hour before she needed to be awake. She settled back into her blankets, trying to remember what dream she'd been having.

The more she tried to recall it, the more it slipped away; it was like trying to hold water in your hands. She remembered a special occasion and a dark hallway…and then with a start, she remembered McLaggen's intoxicated face. She felt her body tremble, and her breathing hike. She tried to calm herself, after all it was just a nightmare, but her heart had already set off at an alarming pace. She took a few deep breaths in and out, and forced herself to think of something else, something happier. Of course it would be James who popped into her mind.

She let her mind drift over the happy moments they'd shared that weekend, when her mind began to wander. She hadn't really seen Peter all day yesterday, so she supposed that it was entirely possible that he had told Snape about her accident. And really, how else would he have known? Her friends hadn't told anybody, and she was sure that McLaggen hadn't either. And why would Snape throw out such a random name? It didn't make sense.

She made up her mind to ask Peter about it personally.

She got up and dressed; there was no way that she could fall asleep again. Lily grabbed a book from her trunk and walked downstairs to read it. She hadn't even gotten to the bottom stair when she stopped. Sirius was asleep on a couch, sprawled across its cushions and cuddling with a pillow. She stifled a laugh, and sat in her favorite armchair beside the now-dead fire. He would occasionally say a random word in his sleep, but since most of what he said was incomprehensible, Lily ignored him until he very clearly said 'Alice'. She lowered her book and looked at him curiously.

"Alice" he mumbled again before pulling the pillow he was clutching closer. Lily looked at him, slightly confused. She really wanted to know what his dream was about, but knowing Sirius, it could be anything. Maybe he knew another Alice. She settled back into her comfortable position and resumed her reading.

It wasn't long before Sirius moved again; he seemed to be a restless sleeper. Lily gave him a cursory glance, but then she spied something that made her stop in shock for a moment then shiver in disgust. A very perverted bulge was beginning to make itself known to the world just south of Sirius' pant-line. She looked at him in horror for a moment before she remembered that this was just something that happened to guys apparently, every once in awhile…but she was still grossed out. She turned back to her book, gagging slightly. She tried to read, but found she couldn't concentrate. It was like trying to read with somebody staring at you. She sighed; people would be waking up soon, it wouldn't be fair to let everybody see something as embarrassing as that.

"Sirius" she said aloud, to try to wake him up. He didn't stir. She said his name louder, but he just twitched, and turned to lay on his back more, making the problem worse. Lily pinched the bridge of her nose, knowing what she had to do. Letting loose a long sigh, she put down her book, and leaned over him. She closed her eyes, and shook his shoulder slightly. He murmured slightly, and Lily took ahold of this opportunity. She called him name out while she was still so close. Sirius jerked awake, dropping the pillow he was holding. He looked at Lily, who was now scooting back to her chair, and then paused. He looked down and spasmed, grabbing the pillow and holding it to his lap like nothing was wrong.

"What's up Lily-Pad?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant, all traces of sleep gone thanks to his…surprise.

"I didn't think you would want to be found like that" Lily replied, trying desperately to keep the laugh out of her voice. Now that he was awake, this was positively amusing. She watched his face slide into a deep crimson, and then lighten up again.

"That_ is_ something I usually reserve for my lady-friends" he joked.

"Or Alice, I suppose" Lily laughed.

Lily's laugh stuttered and went out when she saw Sirius' face. He was frozen with surprise, and when he saw that she was joking, he tried to laugh like she was. Intuition stirred up inside her. Was Sirius looking at her like that because he thought that she'd caught him doing something he wasn't supposed to? Like Alice, for instance.

"Speaking of Alice, actually, I heard that her and Frank were getting serious" she said, deliberately baiting Sirius. He couldn't actually be doing something with Alice, could he? That would change Lily's entire outlook on her best friend. She'd known Alice as nothing but true and loyal to her loved ones, even if she sometimes relied on improvising more than strategy.

"Are they? Good for her" he replied in a somewhat strained tone. It went without saying that he really didn't want to be talking about this, his joking mood gone in a flash.

"Yeah, just the other day she was talking about how she and Frank were meant to be, and how nobody could _possibly_ measure up to him in her eyes. I thought it was rather sweet" she continued anyway. She was stretching the truth a bit, but Alice _had_ been talking about how much she liked Frank recently.

"Sweet, yeah"

"And you should hear the way she raves about his, ah, assets. Any guy would be lucky to receive such compliments, best she's ever had, so to - "

"Could you _stop_, please?" Sirius breathed out. Lily hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath. "I'm really not interested in your friends' sex life"

"In your dreams you are" she accused.

"What does that mean?" he asked, turning to her.

Lily gestured toward his crotch.

"How do you even know what I was dreaming of? For all you know I could have been dreaming about the foxy Minerva McGonagall" he scoffed.

Lily laughed before saying, "Well if it had been her you were dreaming of, I'm willing to bet it was _her _name you would have been moaning"

"Moaning?"

"Well, sort of"

"So I was saying Alice's name?" he asked. He was trying to sound skeptical, but Lily could hear the underlying horror.

"And then you pitched a tent" Lily giggled.

"Well that's weird" he said, not quite looking at her.

Lily waited for him to say more, but it seemed that he wasn't going to say anything else. He was being a complete space cadet, staring at nothing with a muted look of dismay laid delicately across his features. It looked at home there.

"She never said she and Frank were meant to be" Lily offered, seeing how this affected him.

"Then why did you say she did?" he asked, his voice whipping in irritation. He seemed to realize his mistake when he took in Lily's expression.

"Could it be that Sirius Black actually_ likes_ a girl?"

Yet again, her words stunned him. But not for long.

"What? Me? Like Alice? Right"

Lily just looked at him. They had a mini staring contest, which Lily won when Sirius let out a huge sigh.

"Fine" was all he said.

Lily was disappointed. It wasn't any of her business what her friends did with or without their boyfriends, but she'd thought that Alice was better than cheating. When had she had the time to cheat anyway? She was always complaining about how little time she had with Frank as it was. Lily sighed.

"How long?"

"A month or so. Maybe more"

"Are you going to stop this any time soon?"

"Stop? I don't think I can do that. I know _you _have crazy grips on your emotions, but we're not all made that way" he countered angrily.

"But she has a boyfriend! Don't you feel even the tiniest bit guilty?"

"Why would I feel guilty? I'm not doing anything wrong!"

"But she is!"

"Wait, what? Does she like me too? Did she say anything about me?" he asked, suddenly sounding overly excited and completely not like Sirius.

"Well I'd _hope _she likes you if she's cheating on Frank with you!" Lily replied, utterly confused.

"Cheating on…? …Do you think we're…_ooh_…Lily; she's not cheating on Frank. I have a crush on her. That's it" Sirius explained, "I don't know what you were thinking, but I haven't touched her at all"

It took Lily a moment to go back through the conversation and see where she had assumed wrong.

"So…you like Alice, but you haven't done anything with her" she clarified.

"Yup"

"Oh" she said, feeling slightly dumb for jumping to conclusions. Then she felt sorry for Sirius in a way she never thought she would. The one girl he wanted was the one girl who would never have him.

"I'm sorry" she said quietly. He shrugged.

"So you've _liked_ her for a month now, not been with her for a month"

He didn't bother to acknowledge this with a reaction.

"If you don't mind my asking…what made you see her that way?"

"It's actually kind of funny" he half-laughed, the ice melting around his demeanor, "We were in Hogsmeade and she was trying to find a present for Frank's birthday. I was behind her in line and she was telling the cashier how much she couldn't wait to give it to him…and that kind of stuck with me, the way she was talking. She was so passionate about him, but when I saw her in the common-room later, she was being so careful wrapping the gift, trying to make it perfect and not just doing it by magic. Except then I just noticed her. I began noticing more and more every day until I just accepted the fact that I liked her"

"I'm sorry" Lily said again, because she didn't know what else there was to say. Alice was crazy about Frank, and although he was in Ravenclaw they tried to make time to see each other every day; Lily just couldn't see any room for Sirius in that picture.

"Me too" he mumbled as he got up; Lily guessed his problem had, ah, gone down.

"Is that what you told Mary, when you turned her down?"

"No. I told her that while dating her would be as sensuous as it was completely breathtaking, I couldn't date her because I wasn't good enough to deserve that, and a guy like me shouldn't try to hold her back. And then I told her that whatever guy she _did_ end up landing with would be the luckiest guy in the world, and I was jealous of him"

"And she really bought that?"

"Most girls do, you'd be surprised"

"_Most_ girls?"

"Please, Lily, she was hardly the first to want to put a leash on yours truly"

"You're horrible" she joked.

"At least I know it" he sighed as he slumped back down on the couch.

"I'm horrible, too, though, if that makes you feel better" Lily injected.

"How are you horrible? Well, _still _horrible, I should say" he asked as he winked at her.

"Because I want to curse that stupid Patil girl into tomorrow"

"Why? She'd just hit on the future James while she was there"

"_I know_! Is it horrible of me to get jealous like that when I think about her? I mean, I don't want her anywhere _near _him"

"Do you think that she might sway James?"

"No, I don't. It's just, she's rather pretty, I guess, in an obvious sort of way…"

"Oh yeah, _obvious_ beauty, that's the worst. I like it when I have to really look for it. Makes me feel like I've _earned _it" Sirius joked.

"You know what I mean" Lily said while laughing, "It's just the way she wears her robes and flounces around trying to get the attention of _everything_ male"

"She does do that" Sirius mused, "But if it makes you feel better, she's definitely not the best kisser in the House"

"You know what? I know I should be surprised, but I'm not. You _would_ know that"

"Of course I would. I dunno if you know this Lily, but we Marauders, we're a pretty gorgeous bunch. But since James had been wrapped up in you for the past few years, I've been getting a lot of attention"

"And you love every second of it" Lily smirked.

"Naturally" he laughed.

A steady trickle of students was filling up the common room now, keen on a bit of pre-class studying. Their conversation died out slowly, only after Sirius made her swear on all that was good and holy that she wouldn't breathe a word of his crush to Alice, but picked back up again when James ambled down the stairs half asleep with his robe on backwards. Lily laughed and helping him rearrange his clothes so that they fit properly. She was smoothing out the creases on his shoulders when he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lightly. They looked into each other's eyes for a long moment, and Lily could almost feel him about to ask her to be his girlfriend. The air tingled with tension.

Until it broke.

"James! Oh, I'm so glad I could catch you before you went to breakfast, there's just something I wanted to ask you about on the History homework, remember how you said you'd help me? Anyway, now we can go down together" a voice rang out from somewhere behind Lily. It was the last voice Lily wanted to hear. A decent night's sleep, it seemed, had not doused Patricia Patil's insanity.

Lily wanted to cling to the embrace that she and James were wrapped in, but with another girl in the picture, chatting up a storm about goblin rebellions, the moment lost its shimmer. And with the embrace successfully disengaged, Patricia from that point on refused to move a foot away from James. Throughout breakfast, James seemed determined to give Lily his undivided attention. The situation soon grew strained due to the fact that there wasn't really a whole lot to talk about, but if Lily didn't keep talking, Patricia would swoop in and try to steal James away with mindless chatter of her own. James' eyes begged Lily to keep talking.

History of Magic was a disaster-piece. Though James had sat between two of his friends, Patricia sat directly behind him and whispered things at him the whole period. He studiously ignored her. To Lily's amazement, halfway through the class, when Patricia finally seemed to realize that James was ignoring her, her eyes settled upon Lily, who was sitting three or four seats over. If looks could kill, Lily would have been dead at least four times by Patricia's eyes.

Transfiguration passed much the same way, though at lunch Patricia seemed to have backed off of both of them. After lunch, James departed with a kiss to Lily's forehead and was off to Muggle Studies, while Lily and her friends departed to Divination. Not halfway down the hall did Patricia manage to catch up to them.

"Lily!" she called much too loudly and angrily, causing many students in the crowd to stop and turn their heads toward Lily and the fast-approaching Patil.

"I see you finally stopped trailing after James like poop on a fish" Lily said leisurely as Patil got within earshot.

"What's the deal, Evans? I thought I told you to stay away from James!" Patil half-yelled. Her voice was much too loud for the proximity they were in. More people stopped to listen in, interested. The crowd tittered.

"I thought you understood that you were delusional"

Mary and Alice were behind Lily, and she could tell that they were confused. She'd forgotten to mention how bat-shit crazy this girl was.

"Look, he might have liked you at one point, but you really have to stop wasting his time. Let him have a chance with somebody who actually gives a damn! I bet he doesn't even like you like that anymore"

Lily didn't know exactly what to say, so it was good that Mary stepped in to her rescue.

"Ah, then I guess you didn't hear him last night when he was telling her how she was way out of your league and how girls like _Lily_ don't just grow on trees"

"Yeah, that's too bad I guess. We could use some shade" Patricia countered. The swelling crowd _ooohh_ed.

"Look Lily. Let's not argue with that idiot. She'll drag you down to her pathetically low level and beat you with experience…and fat jokes" Alice said with such a cold, condescending tone that the entire crowd of onlookers went completely quiet. And with that Alice grabbed Lily's hand and walked away, with Mary slightly behind.

Divination was hard. All Lily wanted to do was chuck the crystal ball she was supposed to be seeing crap in and hurl it across the room. Unfortunately, Patil shared this class with Lily and her friends. The entire period, Patil sulked around in the corner with her friend, Evelyn Vane. If she ever had any children, Lily would tell them to never, under any circumstance, take Divination. It was just dreadful, even without the persistent nagging irritation that was Patricia Patil.

As much as Divination made time feel like it was crawling by, it still ticked on. Not too soon, the bell rang, and Lily and her friends shot out of classroom eleven like fireworks. They had a break until nine that evening when they trooped up the Astronomy Tower, and Lily was really angling for some Patil-free hours. With any luck their spat this afternoon had warded Patricia away. At the very least, momentarily.

Lily burst into the common room, and came face to face with none other than Peter Pettigrew. Alone. This struck Lily as odd, as Peter was almost never out of the Marauder's shadow. She stopped, and looked him in the eye. He narrowed his eyes slightly, and looked at her with a firmness she hadn't known he possessed. Alice and Mary were not paying attention to where her gaze was, but as far as Lily was concerned they were not needed for this conversation.

"Hey Peter, can I talk to you for a second? Alone?"


	13. Chewbacca Dipped In Rogaine

Tee Hee! I've given you all a little treat :] Can't wait to see your reviews lol. Heartz, Annie

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Lily couldn't help but feel just a little mystified. She ought to feel ashamed, but she just didn't understand. Peter was not like the other Marauders. While they were generally more tolerant and a bit better behaved this year, their previous years had been pockmarked with misdeeds, bullying acts and scarring words.

It was something she'd always wondered about. How could they tease Snape, who was smarter than Peter, quicker than Peter, funnier than Peter and probably more attractive than Peter, but then give Peter the great, grand gift of being their friend? It didn't make any sense to her.

He was eying her shrewdly. He'd taken the lead, surprisingly, when they'd left the common-room. Lily supposed she was going to find a deserted corridor someplace where none of the other Marauders would interrupt, until he started walking, expecting her to follow. If something arose between them, then that's where it would stay. She didn't need to pick an open fight with Potter's friend.

They were sitting in the library, neither of them saying a word, but simply sizing the other up. His strange behavior today (which was probably the first time she'd seen him alone…ever) might explain why he was friends with such devious, handsome boys. Perhaps he wasn't obviously brave, or obviously witty, but maybe Peter didn't do 'obvious'.

"You wanted to talk to me?" he asked in a whisper.

"I just have a few questions" Lily replied quietly, picking an imaginary fluff from her robes, trying her best to look cool and in control. Peter gestured with a hand that she should ask away.

"I was just curious how it came to Severus Snape's knowledge that I'd been attacked, and who my attacker was"

Lily expected Peter to blanch, to stutter, and to try to deny it. She was half right.

"That_ is_ curious"

"It's also curious that he named you as his informer"

This time Lily's assumptions about Peter were correct. His mouth hardened into a hard line, and he shifted uncomfortably. His hands clenched into fists just once, then relaxed. He said nothing.

"Why did you tell him? What could have possibly motivated you to do something like that?" she whispered angrily.

"He would have found out anyway, I was just speeding that process along"

"It was none of your business to tell him, Peter! Now that piece of scum is back in the Hospital Wing, because of you!"

"Because of Snape" he corrected.

"What's your connection to Snivellus, anyway? Why tell _him_, of all people? Really, I'm trying to see what motivated you here, and I'm coming up blank"

"Let me ask, Lily. Are you glad that McLaggen is out of sight? Are you happy that you don't have to face him? Does it please you that he got what he deserved? And don't bother saying he didn't deserve it, you'd only be lying to two people who know better"

It took her a moment to gather an answer.

"You don't like me that much, to go through so much trouble" she remarked suspiciously.

"But James does"

"What was that supposed to mean?"

But Peter had already gotten up and started to walk away. Lily shot out of her chair, and followed Peter, deluging him with irritated whispered questions. She may as well have stayed seated and asked Peter's chair for all the answers she got.

Once back in the common-room, she fidgeted, unable to get comfortable. Alice and Mary were happily discussing something, but what they were talking about was unclear and uninteresting to Lily. Peter was the only Marauder in the Gryffindor Tower, as far as she could tell. She'd questioned Peter from the library all the way to his dormitory door. He'd shut it unceremoniously in her face.

The disturbing thing was, was that if Lily had interpreted what Peter had said correctly, then it had been James would had ordered the 'hit' on McLaggen, as the muggles say. Peter had just gone about it in an unconventional way, and Snape had reacted to such information with unusual zeal and anger for avenging somebody who wasn't even his friend anymore. She wondered how Peter had approached that particular situation, or how he even thought to tell Snape, or even guessed how Snape would react the way he did. Her head spun with questions.

"I know! Uhg, he was hairier than Chewbacca dipped in Rogaine"

Lily snapped out of her fervor with a confused laugh, while Alice looked bewildered, not understanding the comment at all. Mary had to explain what Rogaine was ("_Like a hair potion for muggles who are follicle-challenged_") after a short recap on both Chewbacca and Star Wars. Lily tried to pay attention to the conversation, and it turned out that Mary was telling Alice about Dirk Cresswell, from the party a few nights before. She zoned out again.

Her thoughts, or perhaps non-thoughts, since she was trying to keep her head clear, were again interrupted when the other three Marauders came bursting through the portrait-hole. James spied Lily, and sauntered over and sat down next to her, Sirius and Remus following like dogs in a pack. It gave Lily a little jolt when she realized that both Sirius and Remus were, in some sense of the word, canine…

Sirius and Remus sat down on the couch next to James and Lily, so the sofa was very crowded indeed. Could the boy sitting next to her be responsible for the beating of McLaggen? How much exactly did she care? Why was she feeling…betrayed? Was that even the right word? She couldn't doubt that in the dark recesses of her mind, she had enjoyed not seeing McLaggen in class today. She had been pleased that he'd been hurt, and more than just knocked out. It hadn't…_satisfied _her that all he'd gotten out of the ordeal was a kick, and she'd left with light scarring on her knees and palms. So then why did she feel slightly angry with James?

Had he even done it, or was Peter lying? Why Snape? Why would he duel somebody senseless over something like that, somebody like _her_, anyway? If James wanted to curse McLaggen so badly, why didn't he do it himself? He was certainly proficient. Why the hell was everything kept from her anyway?

The more she thought about it, the more the questions rolled around and around in her head, the angrier she became at James and Peter, and even Sirius and Remus if they knew about it, and the more she resented the arm that was cradling her shoulders. She realized what angered her; it was not being told.

_She_ was the one who'd been hurt after all. It should have been up to _her_ to delegate what punishment McLaggen deserved, and who got to dish it out. But no, let's not tell _Lily _anything, because this _doesn't concern her_. Suddenly, James turned to smile at her; apparently some joke had been told. They were all laughing. James' expression faltered when he met Lily's stony glare.

"What's wrong?" he whispered in her ear. She blew air forcefully out of her nose, making a sound like an angry _huff_. He eyed her warily, and then his eyes moved away from hers to something over her shoulder. She turned, and saw Peter strolling up, being his usual, airy, laid-back self. James caught the look Lily was throwing at him, and suddenly she felt a yank on her hand. James was trying to pull her out of the couch. She stubbornly refused. She didn't know why she was being so childish; but she was angry. She didn't know if she wanted to talk to James, which he so obviously wanted to do, because she was afraid of what she might hear. But James won out in the end. She stood up jerkily, and noticed that she and James' behavior hadn't gone unnoticed by the group. She gave them all a hard stare that warned them to not say a word.

Lily expected to go to the hall, or maybe somewhere else, but certainly not James' dormitory. Once she'd realized where they were going she didn't so much care. Maybe they wouldn't be interrupted there. James held the door open for Lily, and she stalked past him into his room he shared with his buddies. It was messy. Not that her space was so much better, but she still noticed. She sat on the nearest bed. James shut the door behind him, locked it, and turned to her.

"What's up with you?" he asked, a slight air of annoyance in his tone. His tenor made Lily want to yell at him. He had no right to be annoyed with her.

"I'm angry with you, I think"

"You think?" he asked.

"It all depends if you asked Peter to help you get revenge on McLaggen or not" she said bluntly. There was a short silence.

"Fine. Be angry with me, then"

"Did you tell Peter to tell Snape?" she asked, her voice quivering with fury.

"That was a surprise, actually. I mean, it was kind of a masterstroke, seeing as how Snivellus loves you and all. I mean, I hadn't even thought of that" James replied. His voice was calm, with an air of being impressed by Peter's plan of action.

"Why not just do it yourself? Or, I dunno, maybe consult me about it? Did you think that maybe I'd want in on it, or maybe I would have a better idea than, 'hey, let's go tell Snivelly about an attack and see what he does'? And he doesn't _love me_. He just sees me as a sister" Lily said, ending on a stubborn note.

"Sister, indeed" James chuckled, "And I didn't do it myself because I didn't want that on my hands, and I didn't want it on yours, either. Don't you want to be Head Girl next year?"

"God! You are so high-handed! How dare you try to cover for _little old me_! What is on my hands and what isn't on my hands is not up to you!"

"_I'm sorry_ for doing something that both of us wanted without doing any damage to either of us" he replied coldly.

"You could have told me" she said in a surly tone. She could already tell she wasn't going to win this fight.

"And have you pull a Lily and get all noble on me? Please. I bet you didn't even admit to yourself that you wanted to see him hurt until _after_ you saw it for yourself"

"_Pull a Lily_?"

"Yeah, you do this thing a lot where you try to do what's right all the time. It can get irritating, you know" he answered, his eyes twinkling with the joke.

Lily sighed. Her anger wasn't completely abated, but she couldn't stay really furious for very much longer. He had done something for her she hadn't even known she wanted. But even if she'd realized she wanted to have McLaggen hurt, she still wouldn't have done it. It wounded her good, 'noble' side that she wanted something so awful to happen to somebody else, but didn't he deserve it? She remembered the dream she'd had that morning and found she completely agreed with herself.

"You're forgiven, I guess, but I'm still a little mad at you" she concluded to James.

"You should be, kinda. I was kind of high-handed" he replied, stepping toward the bed she was sitting on slowly.

"And slightly chauvinistic. You shouldn't try to protect me like that. I'm a big girl"

"And you can tie your own shoes and everything" he murmured. Lily suddenly realized how close they were, just a foot apart. He leaned in for a make-up kiss, and Lily was torn. She returned it, but mostly to not hurt his feelings. He climbed onto the bed with her, gently pushing her down onto the pillows.

Lily's heart was going about a mile a minute, having realized that she and James were alone, truly alone, for she'd seen him lock the door herself. And they were on a bed. Kissing. She was torn because she _wanted_ this, the hormone-ridden body she occupied was steam-rolling its way past just kissing and preparing itself for more, but her brain was frozen.

She and James weren't dating yet. She wasn't his girlfriend and he wasn't her boyfriend. At least not officially. Did he figure they were? Her mind screamed in half-panic, half-elation as James' hand slid from her hair to her chest. He chuckled as he felt her heart pound, but it was low and raspy, more like a moan than a laugh. Sexy. Without her telling them to, Lily's hands wound their way around James, up under his shirt, and gripped at his shoulder-blades, digging in her nails just enough so that he could feel them there. James' mouth moved to her neck.

Her body was telling her to get on with it, and her hands were aching to explore still more of James' bare skin. She was more clutching James' back now than anything, trying to keep her hands in place. Her teeth caught James' earlobe and nipped, and he squeezed her with more force than before. She found she enjoyed it. Her hands stopped listening to her, and one slipped around to James chest, and in a second his shirt was on the floor. Lily trembled at the sight of him shirtless. Her hands ran down his chest, to his abs, and suddenly one was playing with a belt-loop.

Lily realized, when James kissed her bare skin, that her shirt was shoved up over her breasts and her bra was unhooked, leaving her exposed. Lily pulled his mouth back to hers, and was lost in the moment, just as she had been since James had first grabbed her. Her body arched to mold itself to his, and she discovered that she wasn't the only one who was excited. James grabbed her calf and threw it over his hip.

That's when Lily's head exploded. Her body wanted James. Her hands, her skin, her lips, other things…they all wanted James. But they weren't dating. And they weren't ready for this.

"James" she started to say, but his mouth extinguished her voice. She raised her hands and pried his face away, and looked into his eyes. They were glazed with lust.

"Do you really think we're ready?" she asked, completely breathless. She noted that she sounded just as sexy and ragged as he had when he'd laughed a moment ago. After some heavy panting, his eyes cleared. He rolled off of Lily, and cuddled up beside her. She laid his head on his bare chest, hers still open to the room.

"We're not. You're not"

"Oh, am I not?" she teased. He quirked an eyebrow. "I just think we need to set some things straight before we get…physical"

"What things?"

"Like the fact that we're not dating" she said softly, re-hooking her bra and pulling her shirt down. She'd wondered ever since their first kiss why he hadn't asked her to be his girlfriend, especially since he'd asked almost every other day since fifth year. She tried to not feel anything about it; she was sure of his feelings, and sure he'd ask eventually. But she did wonder.

"To be honest, I've been scared to ask" he replied after a long moment of silence.

"Scared" Lily repeated in a flat voice. James raised himself up on an elbow to look down at her.

"Uh, yeah. If you weren't ready to be my girlfriend, and I asked, and you turned me down _just_ when I started thinking it was _actually possible_, it would…well, it wouldn't be any kind of fun"

"So when were you going to ask me?"

"I wasn't going to"

"You weren't…you weren't _going to_?" she asked, incredulous and hurt.

"Nope, I was going to wait until you asked me" he answered with a smile in his voice. A wry smile slid across Lily's lips, the hurt gone.

"Coward" she teased.

"Temptress" he teased right back, "So, are you going to ask me?"

"Hell no, I'm not going to ask you! That is the _man's_ duty"

"And _I'm _the chauvinistic one?" he joked.

She waited. He did too, for a few moments, and sighed.

"Lily Evans, will you give me the greatest pleasure I've ever had, even greater than the one we just shared, and be my girlfriend?"

"Nope"

James' mouth popped open with shock, and hurt spread from his expression to his eyes.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Lily yelped, and climbed on top of him, straddling his stomach. She leaned down to kiss him, and he kissed her back with fervent relief.

"You know it's a yes, stupid. I would never say no now" she murmured when she broke away.

"You're horrible" he joked, but looked up at her with a happiness that she couldn't have even imagined being part of a human range of expression.

"And yours" she replied, sinking once more down to his lips.


End file.
